(the question about the aggressive attitude regarding lesbians is in the other thread)HUNTEDvsINVIS wrote:I will let this thing go, i will grin and bear it, just to save my academic career from further controversy. However, I know my lecturer is a feminist lesbian, and I have fantasies about making a porn movie of myself, holding up banners of "yay for male dominance" and "lesbians might be biological errors" whilst in the act, whilst there is a lone lesbian in chains sitting on a chair and watching. Then I could post her this video, with a big fat title of "THIS IS ONLY ART AND I ONLY HATE LESBIANS FOR FUN". No, I won't make this revenge video, maybe when I have graduated...
Perfect Revenge, and it's just art. If people disrespect religious and moral codes, I can do that, too. I can make anti-lesbian art if I want to.
Although in part this addresses HvI's post, it is also in general about revenge.
Revenge is never a wise choice. Whether someone sees something wrong, is wronged or just feels wronged, there are good, bad, and grey areas on how to respond to that. The good and the grey are all designed with the primary intent of truly being instructed, whereas although a person with a bad intent may state "I'll teach her a lesson," the primary intent is not "teaching" but inflicting emotional hurt. People do not learn their best when they are in emotional pain, and are usually at least tempted to return the revenge. It reminds me of a line in a book I'm reading about bullies: "It all started when he hit me back."
As Cory said in another thread (paraphrased), people like to make things even. Sometimes this can be accomplished (if all parties have some stake in reason) by discussing the matter rationally. Seeing what the other person's perspective is while sharing one's own perspective in a manner that the other person is receptive to can bring everyone equal by everyone going up a notch. Since this is the solution that provides the best outcome, it should be tried first.
If that does not work, and the issue is important enough, legal force can be turned to (I specifically chose the word "legal" rather than "ethical" because people who are considering revenge are not in a mind-set conducive to a proper perception of ethics). What I am thinking of here is going to a higher authority over the matter. Depending on the issue and the severity, there may be more levels up the chain of command, and it is usually most appropriate to work one's way up the chain of command one step at a time. If that does not work, and the issue is important enough to persue further, there are a progression of more forceful steps that can be taken. Here, I am thinking of when countries go to war.
The problem with the further down the chain from good ways to handle it to bad ways to handle it is that if people don't get it by the time you're three-forths the way down the chain, they are probably too intellectually challenged to get it at all. Also, the further down the chain, the more likely they are going to want to take revenge for your revenge. This is how gang wars usually happen and you just have people shooting people because their people got shot, and "getting even" doesn't happen until everyone is dead (often called "the ultimate equalizer").
It is best if everyone gets equalized by everyone taking a step up, but each step down the chain, one must both ask "is it worth it?" and "is this other person ever going to get it?"
Ironically, the more one respects the other person or the position of the other person, the further down the chain one is willing/driven to go. If the "opponent" was truly diagnosably profoundly retarded, the things she'd say or do might still get on one's nerves, but there is only so much that one will try to teach a retarded person.
Revenge is not a teaching tool. Revenge is just an emotional outburst and it shows as much immaturity as a temper tantrum.
Hunted, I know you said you won't really do it, but even fantasizing about revenge is not a sign of wisdom.
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