GENIUS FORUMS

This subjective analysis is a depiction of the battle between truth vs delusion:

(Take it for what you will)

Schizophrenia I think mimics a valid mystical experience. Now what do I mean by that? One might perceive a psychotic episode as being a looking glass or examination tool for ones delusions/delusional thinking. In other words it creates a monster. During such an episode it maybe difficult to understand what's going on. The irregularities may become so massive that they distort the ego in a way that is almost indescribable. I've heard this called a mental dysfunction among other names, but I don't believe that it necessarily needs to be so. It's important not to forget that this is another valid experience, nonetheless. Oppositely or rather more favorably we have something which is vastly more desirable, not only a moment but rather like an instant connectitude of past contradictions. Not epiphany. An understanding of some sort... Wisdom? Understanding in its fullness (if you will). A similarity which I've observed in the two is that I don't feel in control when it happens. So in that sense, these two experiences are relatively dangerous. One hopes to be corrected.

Something extraordinary happened to me today. I'd like to include that I have not slept. What is interesting and extremely fascinating about today is that I experienced these two types of mystical experiences in such intensity that it boggles the mind and one wonders if not for only an instant whether one has not lost it.

I have been truthful in that I said what was on my mind. Now, onto what led to the less favorable yet valuable downfall: the karmic paranoia hit with max intensity after I had been injected with a dose of my own medicine (I'm referring to that link Jason posted - it really pushed the limits psychologically, but I think this was benneficial in the sense that somethings when one tries to improve, become stronger and more reliable). Anyways, all sorts of little demons sprawled out of hiding and clustered together and became a manifestation of my worst nightmare. I have never felt more vulnerable, more inferior, more exposed... It was the end. As I lay mangled gasping for breath at rock bottom I wondered whether embarking upon such a journey was worth it or not. It became evident soon after. You will make it as long as there's a strong will to attain enlightenment, no matter the odds.

I was really disoriented because I thought that I had already concurred these delusions only to find out that this wasn't so. Anyway, I got out of my room and went downstairs to go talk to my mom. When she saw me, she looking concerned... I was hopelessly lost at the time. Whatever. Slowly, over a period of time, things became somewhat normal. It stayed that way until a few hours later.

My mom came back home from work, I was trying to appear cheerful. Confusingly she appeared unusually energetic, odd, and unlike herself. Other oddities occurred which I won't mention (no need). There came a point when my suspicions were confirmed - she really was being different towards me, supposedly acting. Anyway, the point is that when she went out, the other type of mystical experience began to take its course. This was much more enlightening, ever so increasing in clarity and uplifting, or... more appropriately it was a renewed sense of realization. Moment to moment (time was irrelevant - infinity?) That instant began to make more and more sense. Anyway, the mystical experience really started with my grandma. She was just like my mom, she was unusually cheerful and talkative. As I listened, some sort of honing sensation took over and I began to understand her thoughts or rather if not differently then the intended meaning. Her words had somewhat of a pull effect, grabbing hold of me and sucking me in - like I said, there was nothing unpleasant about this. But guess what? It was incredible. Words do no justice. I imagine that perhaps it was like an incredible twilight zone effect. She talked about roads, traveling, my father's business, etc... THIS wasn't very important or at least not as important as a logic fluke, what was important was the meaning of it all and how it encompassed/engulfed my being, threatening to swallow me whole. I tried to stay conscious but there was just too much to take in. I understood her fully. I was under her spell, a willing participant as she showered me with her charm. That was just it - how dare she! Knowingly trying to brain wash me as I listened intently unable to turn off. My problems were brought up. Her doing. No wonder I revolted and protested, no wonder she acted like she's ignorant as to what she was trying to do. She... is at least part of the problem - as this realization hit me at full swing unexpectedly tickled. Tickled! We started to agree yet I was not speaking her language, rather I was communicating with her thoughts and this amused the both of us for different reasons. I began to giggle uncontrollably, happier than ever. By this point she began to suspect something, worry spread across her face, ever for an instant. I knew I got her. I was not her slave anymore. And in that moment it all made perfect sense. I felt like Buddha's spirit was with me, and I understood why such unrelenting emotions were unfavorable and definitely unsavory for a free being of nature. I have never felt such strong and comforting emotions. She wanted me to be one with her, while she fed me lies. Not good. But at least I know now.

...And we're back.

I think that the described type of understanding that I had was very close to enlightenment if not enlightenment itself. I need some kind of clarification. I trust my own judgment and I'm sure it'll lead me to the bottom of this.

Your thoughts?

Colleagues, in my view this is an interesting and elucidating case. The young man in question has a question, he is trying to discern delusion from reality vis a vis an experience of which we are not sure was a dream or an actual occurrence. He has focused upon the mother figure in his life, whether real or imagined we cannot say for sure. He writes of this with fervor, with a certain flair that suggests neither certain normalcy nor non-normalcy, and uses very long paragraphs for someone who is entirely new to the board, which suggests either the unconscious familiarity of a lurker -- indeed he refers to another poster by name -- or the ignorance of a typical newcomer. But that is neither here nor there. What is important is to ask ourselves why this august group has been chosen as recipient of this young man's query. After all, we are not psychiatrists, we are not psychologists. Indeed we are philosophers. And from a philosophical standpoint is it fair to put forth opinions about his situation? No, opinions are not our stock in trade. I say let him be more specific, let him wean down his words to the bare essential, it is not our place to winnow his prose and divine his meaning. Surely he has access to professional help locally to him, if that is what he needs. Let us not fall prey here to the temptation of offering advice in return, for that surely would be delusional in itself. I say let us instead retire to the drawing rooms of our minds, the hallowed halls of thought, to muse upon this further over cigarillos of logic and snifters of the brandy of pure reasoning, and let us let this earnest seeker clear his own mind further in that same spirit. Colleagues, in my view this is an interesting and elucidating case. The young man in question has a question, he is trying to discern delusion from reality vis a vis an experience of which we are not sure was a dream or an actual occurrence. He has focused upon the mother figure in his life, whether real or imagined we cannot say for sure. He writes of this with fervor, with a certain flair that suggests neither certain normalcy nor non-normalcy, and uses very long paragraphs for someone who is entirely new to the board, which suggests either the unconscious familiarity of a lurker -- indeed he refers to another poster by name -- or the ignorance of a typical newcomer. But that is neither here nor there. What is important is to ask ourselves why this august group has been chosen as recipient of this young man's query. After all, we are not psychiatrists, we are not psychologists. Indeed we are philosophers. And from a philosophical standpoint is it fair to put forth opinions about his situation? No, opinions are not our stock in trade. I say let him be more specific, let him wean down his words to the bare essential, it is not our place to winnow his prose and divine his meaning. Surely he has access to professional help locally to him, if that is what he needs. Let us not fall prey here to the temptation of offering advice in return, for that surely would be delusional in itself. I say let us instead retire to the drawing rooms of our minds, the hallowed halls of thought, to muse upon this further over cigarillos of logic and snifters of the brandy of pure reasoning, and let us let this earnest seeker clear his own mind further in that same spirit.

an experience of which we are not sure was a dream or an actual occurrence.

Does it matter?

Carl, would you mind placing paragraph breaks in your posts? Long chains of words are hard for me to follow.

I think you'll find his not doing so was part of the satire/parody.

I figured so, but it's still hard to read.

And who is he parodying?

He's parodying Mystex. It's actually kind of funny because it takes a while for it to sink in that the entire post is repeated twice.

Hey Dan, I think maybe you were right when you told me I should get a life.

broken,

Hey Dan, I think maybe you were right when you told me I should get a life.

Want to trade with me? I have too much of a life right now, and I go three or four days in a row when I hardly have time to come on line for more than a few minutes. I want my cyber life back.

You could keep / handle all my social commitments, and I would surf the web all day.

BTW, where's Tomas? I miss him.

-

Shahrazad wrote:Carl, would you mind placing paragraph breaks in your posts? Long chains of words are hard for me to follow.

That was my point exactly. The size was a commentary on that feature of the opening post. Indeed I copied and pasted my paragraph a second time there, to make it the even more massive chunk.

Btw, I've found two ways to make a giant paragraph easier to read -- if one really wants to read it -- short of having the author break it up. One can highlight the text, which on my computer at least, puts register lines across every five lines or so. Or one can open it in a quote/reply box and then put spaces arbitrarily every five lines or so.

Dan wrote:I think you'll find his not doing so was part of the satire/parody.

I wouldn't be so sure.

broken wrote:He's parodying Mystex. It's actually kind of funny because it takes a while for it to sink in that the entire post is repeated twice.

I don't see how that works? (I'm referring to my intro post, not Carl's misinterpretation/misrepresentation of it)

Shahrazad wrote:I figured so, but it's still hard to read.

Hmm... I wonder why?

Carl wrote:That was my point exactly. The size was a commentary on that feature of the opening post. Indeed I copied and pasted my paragraph a second time there, to make it the even more massive chunk.

:)