GENIUS FORUMS

I've been doing this thing recently where I'll sit and attempt to go into the deepest possible state of relaxation I can conjure. Over the years of dealing with people I've developed some anxiety that feels like coarse sandpaper rubbing against my soul for 1-2 seconds, then leaves a faint trace. It's REALLY fucking annoying, as is my constant checking up on other people's behaviors to see what they're up to, if they need help, and thereby poisoning myself further with all their shit. Sometimes it even just through their body language.

Anyway, a few things I've noticed from the deep relaxation: it feels like I have to "let go" of things, but feel resistence in doing that. But on second thought, I find there's no real reason to hold onto it at all, and actually every time I let go, the release feels very, very GOOD. I try to focus my attention on the feelings in my body (related to steady, no-tension breathing, and a long, supple spine), and to stop using my mind to control everything. I have to "go with the flow" even though sometimes it feels uncomfortable. When I stick through the uncomfort, comfort then follows after the resistance.

Ironically, it seems that I then think MUCH CLEARER. My brain isn't being overloaded with fucking every stimulus that can possibly be sensed. I have more time and space to pick and choose which thoughts I want to address, and especially to IMMEDIATELY AND FULLY CORRECT ridiculuous thoughts. It feels like I extend feelers, or tentacles from my core, and instead of receiving and sorting all the data flows, through the submission it feels like I start to CREATE the data flows. I'm acting on my natural desire which don't surface when I'm in 100%, strict thinking mode. My memory is also expanding because of this, I think. I can remember shit that I haven't remembered in YEARS. I feel more natural in general

Anyone have similar experiences?

I'm pretty sure that relaxation or finding emptiness shuts down certain parts of the brain that are involved in direct survival. I think most people allow certain old parts of the brain responsible for worry and other negative states to have dominance most of the time. The end result is that their entire brain and cognition in general is a slave to old parts of the brain. Finding emptiness basically shuts down old parts, and allows cognition to be more whole. I bet if a brain scan was done on an enlightened person and an unenlightened person, the enlightened person would be using much more of their neocortex, it would probably be lighting up all over the place, whereas someone who is lost in worry, fear, violent aggression and other habitual mind states, would only have a few areas of their neocortex lit up.. That is just my guess though. I don't have the equipment to run any experiments.

Perhaps we shall steal some. :)

You just made me feel very evolved! I was thinking of it more as shutting down the neo-cortex and going into a more animal-like state. I feel like THIS, like I'm sinking into the body and the great unconsciousness of my deep past. Nothing much going on in the noggin, just vibing super hard.

But what it also seems to do for me is give that talking, reasoning brain a much needed rest, so that when I call upon it it isn't pointing weapons at me, swamped or confused. It's fresh and ready.

I am a humonkey!!!

While i am not a full time medidator i have over the years experienced similar states. I think a lot, and no doubt my amygdala the part of the brain where the activation of fight/flight takes place is always over active for too many reasons, hence the extra sensitivity and anxiety i experience most of the time.

In relation to meditation i know that there are hundreds of stimuli you can focus on as well as the practice of mantras, but i think that the best and most simple way to meditate is to focus on the breath only.

After all one meditates to detach from all the senses. When i do meditate i end up after the initial circus of thoughts quiet serene, and little answers start to appear and not necessarily to questions that i might have on my mind at the time.

So it works and i am dissapointed that i have not incorporated it in to my daily routine as one might clean their teeth for eg

Keep it up, if anything its time out and that is healthy alone!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You know, I think a side effect of this body vibing meditation I'm doing is the reaquainting myself with the idea of pleasing myself first. From 0-17 years old I was almost completely unconscious of what effect my taking pleasure in things had on others. One day I realized that I was being unnecessarily "mean" to my sister, and that I could have just been more plain and less piercing about my opinion on some matter. I think she took the seeming weakness as an opportunity to try and make me feel really guilty...and IT WORKED FOR A DECADE!!!!!!

Ever since then I've been hyper aware of my own mental states and opinions and what effects they have rippling out. I learned a lot of really interesting shit in the process, but was at the same time a slave to the idea that when people reacted negatively to me, I WOULD FEEL GUILT, making me feel bad, which would only make them feel worse! All of a sudden my mission was no longer to please myself first, but to please those around me...and WOW does that really, really suck. It's really just not in my nature.

So am I responsible for people's behavior and emotional state or not? I'll flesh this question out a bit more later, but for now will try to reconnect with this please myself frame before it disappears again!!!

skipair wrote: You just made me feel very evolved! I was thinking of it more as shutting down the neo-cortex and going into a more animal-like state. I feel like THIS, like I'm sinking into the body and the great unconsciousness of my deep past. Nothing much going on in the noggin, just vibing super hard.

Yes! Of course you do realize it's not the body as such you're sinking in. It's not even just 'body' or primal awareness, it's a matter of a deeper awareness of the whole mind itself and everything that always has been informing it but out of sight, away from your feelers. Past life seems to have been lived mainly at the surface, at the periphery - not knowing where all those currents, push and pulls came from. But not all of what you see now is necessary as natural, animalistic or ancient as it might present itself as.