GENIUS FORUMS

I'm debating whether or not I should get serious about finding a partner and devote my life to raising some strong kids.

I wish I had parents who cared more, who raised me to be more disciplined and competent.

And so, I feel like maybe if I had kids then I could ensure that they were treated more reasonably then I was.

What do you people think about this logic?

If you find a good woman, and have a nice respectable relationship why not?


The problem of "should" or "shouldn't" don't enter my mind though, if it was meant to be it will happen.



"The possession of good and noble friends is equal to the whole of the holy life." - Buddha


Heheh that clip is from Idiocracy, kinda funny, I just saw that movie yesterday...

Hehe, good video Simon. Obviously satirical, but it points to a truth.

Hades - a whole movie like that? - okay, I've gotta see this...

Hades wrote:The problem of "should" or "shouldn't" don't enter my mind though, if it was meant to be it will happen.

Is your statement above similar to the "it all happens for a reason" logic?

Are you kind of on this sort of autopilot, where you have faith that everything is going to work out for the best?

I tend to think that if something in my life goes wrong (emotional pain, confusion, frusteration), it's because I didnt think clearly and strong. If something goes right(no ugly suprises or dispointments), then it's because I was thinking sufficiently clearly and strong.

Therefore thinking in terms of 'should' and 'shouldnt' seems perfectly valid to me. A person ought to be very careful.

So it seems anyway.

Simon wrote:
Is your statement above similar to the "it all happens for a reason" logic?

It all simply happens.

Are you kind of on this sort of autopilot, where you have faith that everything is going to work out for the best?

No.

Therefore thinking in terms of 'should' and 'shouldnt' seems perfectly valid to me. A person ought to be very careful.

So it seems anyway.

If you think so, then thats how it will seem to you.

Hades wrote: If you think so, thats how it is.

The way people think things are, and the way things actually are, are often quite different.

If they weren't then there would be no tragedy in life.

LOL - wise edit ;)

Simon wrote:

Hades wrote:The problem of "should" or "shouldn't" don't enter my mind though, if it was meant to be it will happen.

Is your statement above similar to the "it all happens for a reason" logic?

It does.

Simon wrote:I tend to think that if something in my life goes wrong (emotional pain, confusion, frusteration), it's because I didnt think clearly and strong. If something goes right(no ugly suprises or dispointments), then it's because I was thinking sufficiently clearly and strong.

And that is generally the reason that it all happens for.

Simon wrote:Therefore thinking in terms of 'should' and 'shouldnt' seems perfectly valid to me. A person ought to be very careful.

Yes, they "should."

BTW Simon - I'm not answering your "should I have kids" question because that is way too personal of a decision. You can see both sides of it - the fact that it would be better if qualified parents were the ones breeding rather than primarily the ones who can't figure out birth control and don't think past the sex act itself. You know that the world is already overpopulated, but it is getting even more overpopulated with... well, not exactly the best and brightest coming from a background of parents that wanted them and were willing to be responsible parents (wanting a kid does not equate with raising them well. Think for a moment about what "spoiling a child" actually means, and why the term "spoiling" was chosen).

Plus, even if you do everything right, there are no guarantees that your children will turn out any different from the masses.


Slightly off topic...

David,

Both you and Sue are bright people, and as far as I understand it, you did not want to have children, so how did you end up with a son? And how is your son developing? Has he taken an interest in philosophy? What is he like?
.

Simon wrote:The way people think things are, and the way things actually are, are often quite different.

If you think so.
Things change, but, the way we think things are shapes how they seem to us.

LOL - wise edit ;)

=]

Simon: The way people think things are, and the way things actually are, are often quite different.

Hades: If you think so. Things change, but, the way we think things, shape how they seem to us.

Do you believe that some ways of thinking are better than others? I don't neccearily mean that there is an objective, universal 'better'. But do you have a personal, subjective sense of better or worse?

Do you think it's important to discriminate between better and worse?

Simon wrote: Do you believe that some ways of thinking are better than others? I don't neccearily mean that there is an objective, universal 'better'. But do you have a personal, subjective sense of better or worse?

Better for what?

Do you think it's important to discriminate between better and worse?

The discrimination will happen by itself, you can get caught up with it or see it for what it is.

Simon: Do you believe that some ways of thinking are better than others? I don't neccearily mean that there is an objective, universal 'better'. But do you have a personal, subjective sense of better or worse?

Hades: Better for what?

Well, what is it that you value?

Simon wrote:

Simon: Do you believe that some ways of thinking are better than others? I don't neccearily mean that there is an objective, universal 'better'. But do you have a personal, subjective sense of better or worse?

Hades: Better for what?

Well, what is it that you value?

Fucking hot babes.

Uh oh, we have somebody else who is "hopelessly addicted" to the charms of women. :-)

Having kids is quite an interesting question.

I would say no, don't have kids, the earth just doesn't need any more people. In a way, kids prevent societies from maturing into sustainable socieites.

At the personal level, don't have kids if you have a strong desire to be an individual.

On the other hand.

If intelligent, spiritually mature people do not have kids there will be fewer rational thinkers - and in democracies this means idiots will be placed in power by the shear wiegth of the idiot voting numbers. If idiots are in power, like now, the world is doomed. Bush's daughters will end up as Presidents :)


I wish I had parents who cared more, who raised me to be more disciplined and competent.

Be wary of philosophy then. You might be better off, trying the marriage route and coming back to it later in life.

Philosophaster wrote:

Uh oh, we have somebody else who is "hopelessly addicted" to the charms of women. :-)

That has surely been obvious right from the start.

You can always tell a woman-addict right from the very first moment you meet them, even on the net. It's there in the gauntness of their discourse, their sickly lack of idealism, their lazy approach to thought, their undeveloped sense of humour, their paucity of spirit, their instinctive tendency to retreat into vagueness at the drop of a hat, their misogynistic attitudes to women. All of these things emanate from the woman-addict, like a bad smell.

-

David Quinn wrote:Philosophaster wrote:

Uh oh, we have somebody else who is "hopelessly addicted" to the charms of women. :-)

That has surely been obvious right from the start.

You can always tell a woman-addict right from the very first moment you meet them, even on the net. It's there in the gauntness of their discourse, their sickly lack of idealism, their lazy approach to thought, their undeveloped sense of humour, their paucity of spirit, their instinctive tendency to retreat into vagueness at the drop of a hat, their misogynistic attitudes to women. All of these things emanate from the woman-addict, like a bad smell.

-

Indeed. I can usually tell a woman-addict from their sharp fangs and pointy horns.

David Quinn wrote:You can always tell a woman-addict right from the very first moment you meet them, even on the net. It's there in the gauntness of their discourse, their sickly lack of idealism, their lazy approach to thought, their undeveloped sense of humour, their paucity of spirit, their instinctive tendency to retreat into vagueness at the drop of a hat, their misogynistic attitudes to women. All of these things emanate from the woman-addict, like a bad smell.

Haha. If only Hsueh Tou were here to add a capping verse.

Gauntness, sickly, lazy, vague; these are not one and the same-
Misogyny and instinct are not seen in a mirror.
The ceremony is finished, the honeymoon is over,
The kids have all grown in the twinkle of an eye.

Simon,

I'm debating whether or not I should get serious about finding a partner and devote my life to raising some strong kids.

If you plan to lead a philosophic life, then I would seriously advise against it. A wife and children would eat up nearly all of your time and compromise your ability to be truthful.

As Elizabeth mentioned, I have a 15 year-old son with Sue Hindmarsh and while he is an intelligent, good-natured boy with lots of potential, the work that Sue and myself have put into rearing him has been colossal - for Sue, in particular. It is a big commitment and a big sacrifice to raise a child, so you need to think very carefully before doing it.

-

Do so consciously, if at all possible, that is, only if you feel a genuine calling to do so.

Not because of any inherited notions about doing your part for family or society, nor because of any false psychological need -- i.e. seeking fulfillment from a woman, or child, (which you should really be able to provide for yourself).

You need to closely consider at your motives for wanting to have a child and ask yourself what the broader consequences of those motives are.

Absolutely and utterly, No. Don't do it.

You will regret it, eventually.

Find yourself instead.

first find a woman you love and the rest will become clear to you. [ shame on you Pincer! o naughty crabby one! I wanted to say that one first!! GENIUSES DON"T HAVE KIDS ]

Yeah, she'll want kids even if you possibly don't :)

Nah, go for it, Simon, your logic is totally messed up but...if you don't have a bunch of screaming, ugly kids...someone else will...I'm just cynical cuz I've been ditched by Mr Perfect for some drone red head woman...I've wanted to have my ovaries removed since like forever, but I don't want the people at the hospital to touch me...and ask me stupid questions...and touch me...