GENIUS FORUMS

Hi All,

To explain this post, some of my personal background is required. I've had a very difficult life psychologically speaking. I suffered two major abandonments by parents when I was 5 and 10 years old. The result was antisocial behavior during my adolescence and psychotic illness and social anxiety during my adult life. I'm now 31. I acknowledge that the psychotic illness during my adult life could have a biological component as well; at this point, due to limitations in brain science, it's not clear. While my psychotic symptoms are now entirely under control, my social anxiety is still quite acute in some situations. I regularly see a reputable mental health professional.

As some of you who have read other posts of mine on this forum know, I have recently had some deep insights into the ultimate nature of reality. Now I'm wondering how these insights can help me to lighten up, if they can. Hence the subject line.

I'll elaborate: I've read that one of the "side effects" of this type of insight is that one takes life less seriously, more lightly. While I certainly have more moments of calm and joy when I'm on my own and focus on the insight, it's definitely more difficult when I'm with others. I have two main fears when I'm with others: of being judged as having psychological problems, and of hurting people with my words. The second is mainly a result of what seems to be a capacity of mine to extract more information than usual from a social situation, via nonverbal communication or the subtext of what someone is saying. Hence I seem to function at a different level than most people I know, since I notice that my peers don't seem to have problems saying things that I would consider rude or downright hurtful. Of course, perhaps this is due to my hypersensitivity. In any case, what I would call this acute perception makes me stiff and scared in social situations.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think that I'll be more spontaneous, and worry less about what others think of me and about the effects of my actions on others. But I always end up stiffening up again. So does anyone have any ideas about how to deal with these types of situations?

Thanks,
OD

Cutting the Strings

Beautiful Girl:

To the South a brightness
It is not the moon deep dreams unfurling
It is not the starlight far but near
I feel in my heart bright joy stirring
Look yonder love, see it comes more clear

To the South a brightness
City of light unfolds its glory
How it calls me on through the night
Pinnacles of gold, towers of the silver bright
And the soul of city calls,
Come, be my bride tonight

To the South a brightness
And I must go
The bridge opens its arms and bends low
And you my love must go where you will

See you

Seeker:

Beloved how I love, how I love
To see things through the magic of your eyes
To share things that make your spirit rise up
But try as I might, and try as I may
I can't see anything
________________________________________________________

How Sweet to be a Cloud

Thanks a lot, Alex.

:) :) :)

well, people around are at the mercy of their causes, and so, ultimately, they are blameless in thinking the way they do, they are like boats without drivers, being taken where-ever the wind goes. When the helpless boat bumps into another driver-less boat, it will not be blamed, as your words bump into others, it is like the boat that couldn't help bump into the other boat due to it's helpless direction. Likewise, if people judge you with psychological issues, or judge the boat to be big or small, red or blue, it is merely because they bumped into that boat, and judged it by it's appearance. Though they may see the boat and blame it for it's size or ugliness, it had no choice but to sail the waters with the paint it was given, so it is with us.

I think it will help you alleviate being scared of causing others harm if you remember that everything that appears is the way it is, it is just a matter of doing what you can with that emperical data that you receive, and identify your values.

People make the mistake of simply judging people by appearance, not by the what causes there may have been, and what causes could help produce other effects, but if you meet a group of people that don't value 'blunt honesty' or getting abit too close to the issues, then it's only a matter of time before you'll need to change, or be talk to new people. Is this the case? what kind of people is it? and what are you holding back?

perhaps don't waste time being scared of how other boats bump into you due to the circumstances of the sea. Identify your values, and figure out what the best approach is based on the evidence you have, I suppose.

Hi Anders,

This social anxiety tends to only happen with people who are new and/or shallow. But unfortunately we all have to deal with people like this in our lives, whether it be in social or professional situations (albeit in a limited manner in social situations, if we're smart about it -- I try to be). I feel like I'm holding back a lot of stuff -- mainly from empirical observation that most people miss -- like nonverbal communication or emotional subtext. My values are clear to me. It's just that it's hard to know when to act on them.

I'm also really bad at answering aggression with aggression. Of course it's not always necessary to do so, especially when the other person's opinion doesn't really matter, but I'm really bad at confrontation. But I think I'm getting better at this recently.

Ah, i see. well, for one, it's hard judging how best to act around new people, and I do find that it's not as easy as with people you already know ofcourse. I would be lying if there wasn't times i was anxious if i comtemplated talking to complete strangers, because there are times where i worry about what I appear to be. The more i meditate, the less it bothers me, because we're all children of god, but only when i focus on God, can i be free of worry.

Secondly, being difficulted by shallow people when for you, shallowness is not appropriate, i can understand, for me, it happens that i 'chameleon' my way into average people's behaviour, because even if I acted insightful and *un-shallow*, shallow people will continue grasping at the things they perceive, which are also shallow. It's actually funny because, the more shallow a person is, the less likely I am to be mindful of how they judge me, since they aren't capable of judging properly.

Thirdly, by agression, I assume that you want to get 'out there' with what you think, and what you ought to say and do? that type of confrontation when you know somebody is wrong, and they really ought to know the truth, since it is obvious for you...? I find that to do that, it would resemble talking to a brick-wall with most people, if not that they answered, but grasped at something completely different, furthermore, they wouldn't be able to handle truth properly.

But then im also anxious that i'll not be able to help if there's somebody who could geniunely use it. It's a matter of self-discipline and determination, so you can get rid of ego-like anxiety, and speak without ego in the most efficient manner, that way, one is more suited for doing what needs to be done calmly.


Still, you can give people the smallest of truths, and lighten their anxiety, or perhaps just be an example. Not hurting them further is also something, so even if you're indifferent to the masses of shallow people, you are doing yours not to be just another person drowned in the masses.

Remember that we are all living in our own dream of reality.

From birth, we experience a vast array of stimulations and come into contact with objects, and we take impressions from those experiences and objects. From the repetition of these impressions, and from prolonged contact to the world, we form our own understanding of reality. We create our own world inside of our minds that we deem 'the world', but in reality, there is no reality, only our own separate realities that we all agree to label as reality.

Does that make sense? I'm terrible at keeping people in step with my thoughts when I write.

In other words, what I regard as moral, what I regard as sexy, what I regard as blue, may very well be completely different from what you regard such things to be. We all understand this concept from an early age, but we forget one thing - that there is no actual reality in between my reality and your reality, only language and the labels we use to describe our own realities.

That being said, you need to take this morsel of thought into your mind and reflect on it at all times. Much of the judgment you feel is being piled on you has no effect on your own reality, and even more so, much of the judgment you feel that is being piled on you never actually occurred. Your mind can be your comfort or your torture; you designate it so.

Don't ascribe yourself to biological psychopathy. You'll be condemning your own mind while simultaneously precluding the chance of fixing your problems independently.

Erhm, there may be a trillion ways to see the world, but then, we can't know since there is just the world that you experience.
I agree somewhat that since we live in our own consciousness, what others say need not cause much anxiety since it's just God and his games. We're doing what we can with the world that we are.

Hi Anders,

Wow, that's a great point about shallow people not being able to judge since their viewpoint is distorted.

Hey Deadhead,

Could you define biological psychopathy?

I most definitely could not.

All the more reason for you to not ascribe it to yourself!

Hey Deadhead,

Umm... OK.

Oh, and yes, the rest of your post was quite clear, thanks.

otiosedodge wrote:Now I'm wondering how these insights can help me to lighten up, if they can. Thanks,
OD

Biological explanation for psychopathy >> http://www.news-medical.net/news/200908 ... pathy.aspx