GENIUS FORUMS

It was only supposed to be do you

You certainly riled me up...So it all depended on how I answered your posts.

The thing is: it riled you up so that you would become interested enough to think carefully. When you get very good at philosophy, you don't get riled up by anything.

Do you what to help or just rile me up? Further more, can a person change from dumb to smart, or is it hopeless?

If I thought you were hopeless, I wouldn't be talking to you.

I thought mental disorders damage the brain. So, why are you a clear thinker and others with this condition are not?

Some people with illnesses have more severe illnesses than me, or they use it as an excuse to be lazy. Otherwise, I deal with philosophy a lot -- while means I practise thinking. Occasionally I have slip-ups, like I'll forget to take my meds for a day, and my mind degenerates pretty quickly.

There's a few posts on this forum that I wrote a few years back while manic. I don't want to look for them, because they're actually really embarassing.

Anyway, the illness is genetic. So the damage is already done. The rest of the damage will come from the side-effects of the medication, which can range from very mild... or I could develop conditions like eretile dysfunction and tardic dyskinesia (say, a thumb that always twitches) by the time I'm 30.

Unidian: Yes, I plan on remaining unemployed. So far, I've encountered nothing but tremendous pressure by family and friends to enter the workforce.

Get used to it. It will never stop until they get so frustrated with you that they break contact, either formally or through gradually distancing themselves. Whether or not they will finally drop you depends pretty much entirely on their character. You find out a lot about people this way.

As soon as I idly suggested that I might attend community college to touch up my knowledge of biology, I was harassed on all sides by "good job!"

Yep, that's quite standard. They will shower you with praise and encouragement whenever you mention anything that might lead to conventional employment. To their credit, they do this because they do genuinely care in their own indoctrinated way and they have no way of approaching or comprehending your unconventional viewpoint. To them, you survival and happiness depends on conforming to their ideals, and the sooner you do it, the better. Don't expect them to ever understand that by your standards, your survival and happiness depend on remaining free of conventional employement. They won't understand this and will most likely suggest that you pursue further mental health treatment to "cure" it.

So, I've decided not to attend community college. I'm putting it off for "at least another year". I can almost count it as a rule that as soon as the fools like an idea, it's not a good one. It's a shame, because I was almost looking forward to seeing scientific methods stripped to the bare essentials (unlike the babbling professors that I met at university). Oh well....

I wouldn't suggest avoiding anything on their account. If you don't do anything because they demand it, why avoid something because they embrace it? It's more consistent to disregard them entirely and do what is in your nature. For example, if I had an inclination to get a job, I'd go get one. I just don't have such inclinations and don't expect to have them. The "conventional wisdom" about working does not affect my decision one way or the other. I do whatever seems best in light of who and what I am, disregarding outside feedback entirely.

The only person I'm really concerned about the opinion of is my psychiatrist. The worst my family can do is disown me. My psychiatrist, on the other hand, has the power to cut my funding if it doesn't look like a perfectly capable person like me has any interest in working.

Yes. It's in your interest to maintain the appearance of an "incapable" person at all times. It is not necessary to lie or defraud in order to do this. It is only necessary to focus on the genuine psychological issues that interefe with work when in the presence of psychiatric authorities. Happily for persons like us, refusal to work itself is often seen as symptomatic of mental disability.

My only weapon against that is to act irresponsibly (ie. stop taking medication), since that would put me at a higher risk level, but I honestly don't like my behaviour while unwell. It's an absolute last resort.

No, that shouldn't be necessary, and frankly it is equally risky. You can be dropped from psychiatric programs for "noncompliance," and in some cases, this can result in a loss of monetary benefits. It is not necessary to "act crazy" in overt ways in order to maintain a disability disagnosis. All that is generally required is to maintain a refusal to work based on the fact that doing so creates considerable psychological impairment for you. This is almost certainly a factual claim. I know it is in my case.

cycle, when unmedicated, takes about a year. 3 months of normalness, then 3 months of mania, then 3 months of normalness, then 3 months of depression -- and back to normalness.

I don't understand the above? How does something damaged, repair itself and then keep on repeating the previous process.
(It's as if the manic/depressive brain tries to balance itself out but cannot, because it does not know the proper amounts of chemicals to release...so it contines: manic: too much, depression: too little, normal: in between)

I heard of a link between bipolar and genius. The manic periods must be exhilarating!

My father may have schizophrenia, so that really sucks!

How does a mental illness damage the brain? Does it not feel like one can control it, or has a better understanding of life? How is that false?

I don't understand the above? How does something damaged, repair itself and then keep on repeating the previous process.
(It's as if the manic/depressive brain tries to balance itself out but cannot, because it does not know the proper amounts of chemicals to release...so it contines: manic: too much, depression: too little, normal: in between)

That may be it. One of my main medications is a mood stabilizer, which controls how much of a particular neurochemical (either dopamine or serotonin... I forget) is released.

There are no significant structural abnormalities in my brain (my MRI looks normal). It's entirely to do with chemical regulation, which doesn't shock me, because my manic episode feels like an incredibly protracted ecstacy trip.

I heard of a link between bipolar and genius. The manic periods must be exhilarating!

As I just said, it feels like a 3-month long ecstasy trip. Considering that 4 hours on ecstasy burns a person out for 3 days, and the day after is one of introspection as the brain tries to adapt to reality again... the manic episode is pretty extreme.

It's fun for me, but scares everyone else. And embarassing when I return.

My father may have schizophrenia, so that really sucks!

My manic episodes are similar to schizophrenia. That was my first diagnosis, in fact.

How does a mental illness damage the brain?

Depends on the illness. In my case, apparently untreated my cycles get worse and worse. The side-effects from the medication, as I said, can also do quite a bit of damage. Otherwise, your father might be a good example.

It tends to do the most damage to relationships and career.

Does it not feel like one can control it, or has a better understanding of life? How is that false?

Just as a person on Ecstasy often feels like he understands God or reality better than he did otherwise, mania produces the same feeling of understanding. However, it's entirely delusional. Insight is one of the first things you lose while ill... it's hard to admit that this feeling of understanding is false, and that it's all a sign of illness. There is no control. It's like drunk driving: your mind is not functioning properly, so the best strategy is to let someone else take the keys.

Unfortunately, without insight, one of the last things most people are willing to do is let themselves be hospitalized.

Sounds like emotions play a significant role in our life. So, would it be wrong to say they are the reason for our motivation. For instance one may wake-up in the morning and feel extremely sad and useless, because of the way life turned out. One may feel motivated to sleep-in and try to forget about that worthless feeling that started to weigh on ones mind; leaving everything on an absent minded hope. A hope, believed to be true, that when one wakes up the problems will dissappear or at least become less significant, because of difference in emotion. On the other hand, One may realize, in order to change, one must get up and do something productive, instead of fermenting in ones despair. So, feelings may control our lives, but only as far as we let them. Emotions are controlled by thought...Are emotions thought?

This is interesting. When one thinks one knows/ feels one knows- is there really a difference?

When one feels happy, the mind feels/is (same?) free and is not tied down, so to speak. One may produce higher quality work, get better grades and generally feel motivated to improve....Major reason for not sleeping, personally.

(one, he="I")
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O.K starting from Monday I will not be able to log-on.

1) It's my last week of these courses- Examinations and ISU's:)
2) It's time to quit smoking and start exercising and eating right.
3) No T.V, radio, or computer...Strickly books, 1 novel a day...

number 3 will end in a weeks time...

Have you ever taken any supplements, are they worth it?

Thanks!

So, I've decided not to attend community college. I'm putting it off for "at least another year". I can almost count it as a rule that as soon as the fools like an idea, it's not a good one. It's a shame, because I was almost looking forward to seeing scientific methods stripped to the bare essentials (unlike the babbling professors that I met at university). Oh well....

Well, I dont think avoiding it because of them is so good. If you want to do it, do it. Personally I find I get bored and then self distructive if I don't do something and since school requires less work and commitment (it goes away at the end of the semester...) I'll stick with that as long as I can.

What are your reasons for wanting to do it? Remember - the choice to not work consists of doing what you want and not being a slave... so don't be a slave to not doing what they want, either.

With me, I refused to get a job for a while. Left college, sat around for two years. Then realized I was bored but didn't want a job so I'm back in school. Now I'm thinking that I wouldn't mind becoming a professor rather than a student. Focusing on one thing rather than having to change every semester. So, I'll likely get a job (once I get my phD) because I want to do it.

I don't have to. I get money because of my disability... but I think it's likely more healthy for me in the end to do so.

No, that shouldn't be necessary, and frankly it is equally risky. You can be dropped from psychiatric programs for "noncompliance," and in some cases, this can result in a loss of monetary benefits.

Not to mention the danger from not being on medication... most mental illnesses carry with them a significantly higher chance of dying of suicide or preventable accident. A manic spree or psychotic break can easily cause this... I once swallowed a bottle of pills to prevent the vampires from liking the taste of my blood.

This was actually one of the things that caused them to change the diagnosis from bipolar to schizophrenia, alongside a "running commentary" which gets an automatic diagnosis of schizophrenia regardless of any other symptoms presence.

I don't understand the above? How does something damaged, repair itself and then keep on repeating the previous process.

Well, it can happen that mental illness goes into remission. Sometimes it comes back after remission. I don't know that anyone really knows how or why. It can be significantly affected by stress. I keep a chart of various emotions along side hallucinations - there's almost a perfect correspondence between stress, especially social stress (such as fights with roommates or neighbors being stupid), and hallucinations.

Bipolar disorder is especially troublesome because periods of remission are a part of it by definition. It leads to a lot of people stopping meds when they should not.

Anyway, I recently got the tardive dyskinesia Trevor mentions. Well, I'd had it for a while in my finger, but when it sorta migrated to my arm the doctor pulled me off the antipsych meds that cause it and replaced with high doses of antianxiety meds. Thus far it's been pretty crappy but not nearly as bad as it was prior to going on the meds at all.

While it's not supposed to be the case that the meds effect a permanent cure, I think it may be possible that taking them while simultaneously training my mind has helped (also, this belief might be a placebo... but that's OK)

Emotions are controlled by thought...Are emotions thought?

Are they? I'm not convinced this is true. I think emotions can be controlled by thought if you practice and intentionally do so, but not that this is the case in the majority of people.

MindExpansion wrote:So, feelings may control our lives, but only as far as we let them. Emotions are controlled by thought...Are emotions thought?

I've had a few unsual experiences where strictly physical sensations were responsible for emotions. One time I was wearing a dust mask, and I didn't have to use it for a while and so I moved it down off my face so that it was being held against my neck by the elastic strap. I forgot the dust mask was there. Later on I felt that I was quite anxious and tense, and I couldn't work out why.

It turned out that the dust mask was pressing into my neck in such a way that it simulated one of the physical feelings of anxiety - a slight pressure in my neck area obviously. As soon as I removed the pressure the anxiety went away.

I'm pretty sure it was not simply emotional/psychological reaction to having a slight restriction around my neck either, as I've had a couple of similar experiences, one with subtle pressure placed on my chest, another where a blanket on my chest was being oscillated by the air coming from a fan and simulating the feeling of a racing hearbeat. They are very rare though as it seems to have to be a very specific physical feeling that almost perfectly simulates the real physical feeling associated with the emotions. It's possible that these feelings didn't really have the full force of the normal ones, but I didn't wait around to test that out once I knew what the cause was.

Since those experiences I had the idea to try to completely isolate negative emotions as simply being physical sensations, in an attempt to try to overcome them or distance myself from them, but this proved unsuccessful the few times I tried it.