GENIUS FORUMS

There have been repeating fantasies in my mind of her dying, which I thought could an indicator of my attachment, but as soon as I learned how to cook, and do some survival things, the fantasies went away.

Pretty damn gross. Is this the sort of thing unattached people do?

I'll keep my attachments, thankyouverymuch.

Ryan,

Here is one good short article about parentification.

Sher, you are not making the connection. If one is trapped in a relationship that they don't want to be in and can see no reasonable escape from, it is perfectly normal to fantasize about the person entrapping them to just die. It is more of a subconcious expression of wanting freedom rather than anything morbid.

Elizabeth wrote:

Sher, you are not making the connection. If one is trapped in a relationship that they don't want to be in and can see no reasonable escape from, it is perfectly normal to fantasize about the person entrapping them to just die. It is more of a subconcious expression of wanting freedom rather than anything morbid.

These fantasies happened in a time of my life when I was dependent on her for all my survival related activities, and that is the source of the fantasies because as soon as I started doing a certain degree of things for myself, the fantasies subsided.

So perhaps you were subconciously trying to kick yourself out of the nest?

Elizabeth wrote:

So perhaps you were subconciously trying to kick yourself out of the nest?

I don’t think it is symbolic, I just think I needed to learn how to do things for myself so I wouldn’t feel so dependent. I take care of a lot of my basic needs in their home now, and the fantasies have ended.

Well, by being able to do certain things on your own so you are not so dependant, you are not really in the nest anymore. You are in a role of caregiver for your overly dependent mother. It's none of anybody's business how appropriate or inappropriate that is but your business and your family's business.

Elizabeth wrote:

Well, by being able to do certain things on your own so you are not so dependant, you are not really in the nest anymore. You are in a role of caregiver for your overly dependent mother. It's none of anybody's business how appropriate or inappropriate that is but your business and your family's business.

It’s either be supportive of a dependent mother or work in civilization doing something I hate to be able to afford rent, food, and all the rest of it. Hmmmm….

I think I’ll milk this psychotherapist role as long as I can. It comes down to picking your poison really.

It’s either be supportive of a dependent mother or work in civilization doing something I hate to be able to afford rent, food, and all the rest of it.

You live in your mom's place for free? Convenient.

Ryan, I just want to be really clear about something: it's just you and your mother in the house---no father figure, or support from one?

Also,

My reasoning is this: She is one of the sole reasons I possess the intelligence I do, she provided a warm, clean, and stable environment for me and I feel that I at least owe her the duty of not causing her a lot of suffering. I want her life to be as comfortable and gentle as possible.

You say here, "She is one of the sole reasons..."

How many sole reasons do you think there might be and how does this one compare to the others?

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Btw, Marsha is reading this thread if anyone wishes to hello. Her daughter is doing better after spending a month in hospital.

Hi Marsha! I hope you will come back if you can. :)

Hi Marsha. :)

Hi, Marsha.

Very glad to hear Rock's health is improving.

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To Leyla,

How many sole reasons do you think there might be and how does this one compare to the others?

The factors necessary for the emergence of a wise individual -

First of all, a stable free democratic country with access to public schools for children, a child that has sensitivity to suffering, an inquisitive mind, and that child must come into contact with other inquiring minds in the course of his life. The child must have a strong foundation at home; there must be security, a healthy food supply, and so on.

The right environmental foundation combined with the right genetic constitution produces wise individuals, both factors are important, but genetics weighs heavier because the right environmental conditions doesnt produce wise individuals if they are too weak genetically.

no father figure, or support from one?

yes there is.

The champion of Woman wrote:

What malady is that?

This one:

R: (Ryan pokes his head out from behind Elizabeth, So there! take that Leyla!)

L: Naturally, always looking for the closest thing to mummy you can find.

You have a nasty habit of missing the blatantly obvious!

E: It doesn't work that way Leyla. I was standing up against irrationality. Perhaps one day when I am tired and someone is slinging more irrationality at me, maybe Ryan will fight with me on that battle. How is it that men can fight shoulder to shoulder and no one thinks twice, but if a female pops into the picture, it's "mummy?"

Well, let me see:

(Ryan pokes his head out from behind Elizabeth, So there! take that Leyla!)

Why?

Why is it you ignore the statement preceding the comment?

What’s so rational about it that mine would offend you more on that score?

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Hi Marsha! I hope you will come back if you can. :)

Fuck no.

I do not wish this - if she remains the same as she was before she left.

Nor does she.

To Ryan:

The factors necessary for the emergence of a wise individual -

First of all, a stable free democratic country with access to public schools for children, a child that has sensitivity to suffering, an inquisitive mind, and that child must come into contact with other inquiring minds in the course of his life. The child must have a strong foundation at home; there must be security, a healthy food supply, and so on.

The right environmental foundation combined with the right genetic constitution produces wise individuals, both factors are important, but genetics weighs heavier because the right environmental conditions doesnt produce wise individuals if they are too weak genetically.

And you do not see how philosophically impotent this is?

L: no father figure, or support from one?

R: yes there is.

What do you think is the reason he has taken a back seat in all of this?

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To Leyla,

And you do not see how philosophically impotent this is?

Philosophically powerless? Okay, yes I see how these factors are not in anyone’s control. What’s your point?

What do you think is the reason he has taken a back seat in all of this?

What do you mean by back seat? A back seat to what exactly? He lacks intelligence, he is stupid, dull, vulgar, angry, addicted to many vices.

Leyla, Just for the record, I usually have no idea that the hell you are trying to say, you need to elaborate on what you actually mean. I find your posts difficult to decipher, you don’t give the reader much to work with. You need to think out your ideas, and stop being so lazy with your thoughts.

Leyla,

Ryan has a sense of humor. I get the impression that you do not. Perhaps that is why you could not reciprocate the admission of silliness. Perhaps to you, your comment was not silliness, but an answer to your misperception of a battle call.

Reality includes humor Leyla. Until you can recognize the difference between what is humor and what is serious, you have no chance at seeing Ultimate Reality.

Leyla, Just for the record, I usually have no idea that the hell you are trying to say, you need to elaborate on what you actually mean. I find your posts difficult to decipher, you don’t give the reader much to work with. You need to think out your ideas, and stop being so lazy with your thoughts.

Absolutely.

I was way too kind when I said she had gone "up a level". I was compromising. While she does see deeper, she has no idea how to handle this deepness, and the result is confusion in her communication.

Her love of Marsha's style is good example of the fuckheadedness that women seem to develop, when their minds progress beyond what their natural femininity can handle.

She needs to forget about succinctness, namely short sharp responses - that's just a game of the mind of those who seek entertainment by cleverness.

For the record - I really doubt that our enlightenment heroes, of the past, the buddha for example, were really like that as in always "succint" - I'd say that is academic types (those in love wih the entertainment of complexity) altering what they actually said to be something that sounds cleverer, for the egotistical purposes of the reviewer.

Elizabeth Isabelle wrote:Leyla,

Ryan has a sense of humor. I get the impression that you do not. Perhaps that is why you could not reciprocate the admission of silliness. Perhaps to you, your comment was not silliness, but an answer to your misperception of a battle call.

You'd be surprised how much humour I see in this thread alone!

For example, this coming from you:

Reality includes humor Leyla. Until you can recognize the difference between what is humor and what is serious, you have no chance at seeing Ultimate Reality.

Very funny.

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Jamesh wrote:short sharp responses - that's just a game of the mind of those who seek entertainment by cleverness.

Is not.

Matt Gregory wrote:Is not.

Is too. ;)

Is not.

Well ok. It is not, entirely.

Succinctness does show a good organisation of memories/mind -but it has to be done perfectly, otherwise variable interpretations will later come.

James:

I was compromising. While she does see deeper, she has no idea how to handle this deepness, and the result is confusion in her communication.

Not really. Beans into beans, I say. You cannot know my thoughts, unless I express them. That much is true. But whether my thoughts are deep or not is not the point; there is sufficient information there for anyone with more than a single brain cell to work with--unless I assume they are incapable of generating any thought of their own.

For instance, we heard this great dissertation about Ryan's wonderful feelings for his poor little mother; and his great contempt for his vulgar, alcoholic father (how many times do I hear this story?).

Whose pulling the purse strings in this parasitic love-triangle?

As far as your issue with Marsha, I pray that she returns for your benefit and the benefit of mankind!

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