I asked her what her BMI is, and it's 19. From the anorexic site you linked me to, I found out that anorexics are 15 or less. So technically, she's still healthy. But to me, she is skin and bones.
I checked her records at the gym, and her BMI is not 19. It went down from 21 (6 months ago) to 17, and her weight went from 110 to 98 lbs. According to the trainers, 17 is excellent for an athlete, or someone in great physical shape. This is not her case. The gym is not what brought her BMI and weight down, but her deficient eating.
Do you know Adelaide's Lament, from Guys and Dolls?
Aaaaa-choooo!
Ah, it sez here:
The average unmarried female, basically insecure,
Due to some long frustration may react....react....with
Psychosomatic symptoms, diffictult to endure,
Affecting the upper respiratory tract.....
Aaaaaa-choooo!
In other words, just from waiting around for that
Plain little band of GOLD,
A person... can develop a cold!
You can spray her wherever you figga the streptococc-ti loirk;
You can givva a shot for whatever she's got,
But it just won't woirk.
If she's tired-a-gettin the fisheye from the hotel cleurk,
A person....can develop a cold!
Oh, that's so crazy!
And so on....
Females tend to love sympathy and attention. It's why she tends to be the one sitting on a man's knee, for instance.
I wouldn't worry about the girl's eating. It's how she is establishing that she is different from you and the rest of her family. "Teenagerism" is probably to avoid in-breeding; how she chooses to eat says that she is actually creating her body as belonging to a different clan.
Encourage her to eat out, explore different foods, and let her have her own cupboard-space in the kitchen. Let her have crazy diets and wierd foods, so long as she doesn't poison herself.
I know this is a stage that she'll grow out of soon enough, but I worry because the damage she does to her body could be permanent (for ex., E mentioned heart damage).
The lessons that she will get from going through all this are invaluable, though. She already has learned what cigarettes can do to her health.
I think anorexics often don't like being female - or of existing on the verge of becoming an adult. The appearance is of a young boy, and one doesn't menstruate (become a parent).
This is going off my own experiences, and spending time in various clinics as a 20yo (I went down to a BMI of 16.5).
So, apart from educating her about a flexible but healthy diet, and giving her room to create her own eating plan, it could help to give her a book or music allowance or something to help her create pathways into liking her mind and abilities.
Are her friends encouraging her to be skinny and passive, in relation to growing up? If so, she might benefit from taking on some new activities, to find better examples of living.
[edit: Perhaps take her to see a dietician, and if her appetite doesn't kick in soon, a psychologist. If she has stopped menstruating for over 6months, she may be on the verge of osteoporosis.]
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