GENIUS FORUMS

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Freelance journalist Helen Kirwan-Taylor, has caused an uproar after the Daily Mail tabloid* published her first-person essay headed, "Sorry, but my children bore me to death!"

Kirwan-Taylor is married with two boys aged 10 and 12 – whom she says she loves, but just doesn’t enjoy spending any time with them. She writes, “To be honest, I spent much of the early years of my children's lives in a workaholic frenzy because the thought of spending time with them was more stressful than any journalistic assignment I could imagine”. To fill the role of ‘mother’ that she finds so offensive, she has employed nannies to tend to her boys needs and wants. The boys are fully aware of their mother’s attitude and as Kirwan-Taylor writes, have “stopped asking me to take them to the park years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: 'Why don't we get out the Monopoly board?' they simply look at me woefully and sigh: 'Don't bother, Mum, you'll just get bored.'”

While some people have come out in her defense, by stating that they too feel the same way about children; most call her a “bad mother”, and a “selfish person” who “should never have had children”. I added my opinion to a couple of logs by saying:

It is great to read that quite a few women have made the decision not to have children. I’ve had two of them, and what I’ve learnt from them I could just as easily have learnt from observing other people’s children.

Having children is a 100% selfish act. It gives most women their entire existence. From indulging in this narcissistic decadence, they also receive acceptance and acknowledgment by society.

So it is great to read that there are some women out there willing to face society’s wrath by refusing to live their lives through children - if only more women were willing to do the same.

Both my children know my views on women. They have their own views. They also know that I do not expect them to do anything for me in the future – because my children were not raised to be my slaves.

As I said above, it is great to hear of more women not giving in to their hormones and surrounding social pressures to become mothers. The reason these women have decided not to indulge in this decadence has nothing to do with them being consciously aware that motherhood is 100% selfish, or that women are extremely detrimental to the psychological health of children – no, they choose not to have children because they have found other ways to have their emotional needs met: career, pets, money, men, fashion, toys, travel, etc.

So, all up, I don’t think that Kirwan-Taylor is a bad mother; neither do I think that she is a good mother. Like all mothers, she is just a parasite, who uses her offspring to live through. Okay, she may not find them and their lives all that interesting, but that is of no consequence, as through her relationship with her two boys she is given her status and focus in life.

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Sue
*www.dailymail.co.uk

isnt everybody a parasite? Mothers and Fathers.

uncles aunties, they all want to suck marrow before they die.

I don't think it's wise to lean on other people's delusional states to justify our own.

It probably explains why when women fall pregnant their skins begin to glow and they look in the best of health. Already they are benefiting from a parasitical relationship to their own child. It sets the template for the years to become.

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I think that glowing thing is largely a myth. I have known a few women who felt wonderful but not many. I did not like the state of pregnancy. I burned all my pregnancy clothes once I had the second child.

I agree that mothers are parasites.

Faizi

DavidQuinn000 wrote:It probably explains why when women fall pregnant their skins begin to glow and they look in the best of health.

Biologically it's because her immune system now has to serve two people instead of one.

The image of fat woolly twin lambs racing across a paddock, charging into the ewe's back-end, and lifting it clear off the ground as they suck the milk out of the udder, makes me think about the desperate joy a woman has for being needed. It's a madness.

Nietzsche wrote about men who were a big ear, with a tiny slip of a soul. He should have seen this era of people who are tits, even 100-tit people.

Many psychologists are claiming that because women are working along side of men they are becoming more masculine and actually neglecting their children much like the father.

Many women are becoming incredibly driven and can longer be bothered to actually raise the child.

However this could prove to be a beneficial adaptation because the child will be less pampered and more likely to search for answers on their own.

The child could actually grow to be less cowardly/attached to mother.

The chances of this child being profound could be more likely than a Momma’s boy who grows neurotically insane if they are without a girlfriend for more than 2 weeks.

The child substitutes momma’s tit for the girlfriends.

Prince wrote:

isnt everybody a parasite? Mothers and Fathers.

uncles aunties, they all want to suck marrow before they die.

Yes, people use each other all the time to have their emotional needs met. Parents use children, wives use husbands, husbands use wives, pet owners use pets, boyfriends use girlfriends, etc. The emotions they are exercising are the most animal ones we possess; which make the relationships caused by these emotions equally animal, and thereby irrational.

Women, children and pets are completely innocent of any wrong doing in relationships, because they lack the consciousness to be able to see the consequences of their actions. So the idea of women using children to create their existence as mothers doesn’t directly come from the mind of Woman, but from the minds of those that are more conscious then them. And there is only one animal on the planet possessing the degree of consciousness to generate this behaviour - man’s. It is he who keeps the putrid perverseness of motherhood alive and well. It is his will that dominates and creates this horrid state of affairs – and it is through his will alone that this situation be put an end to.

Man must first destroy the feminine which lives within him - then, and only then, will the feminine cease to exist.

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Sue

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Women think they have a tough life because in puberty they have to work through so many emotions, and then they have to craft a child, and then look after it. The reality is their emotions are mere blips compared to males, who during their teens are flooded with sexual drives. And pregnant women i've seen take it ever so easy, lolling around while the baby forms with no direct effort on their part. And at age 65 most women perhaps have a few stretch marks, compared to the majority of males having been worked to the bone, with a buggered back, dodgy heart, and only a few years left to go.

And here we see one example of the many modern women that are having a child and then not caring for it in those first crucial years. I guess it can, in some ways, be seen as a development. A develpment from unconscious drives to more conscious drives, regardless of them both being selfish.

If they make the choice to have a child they should look after it for the first 13-14 years. If they don't they're severely degrading society's stock. Then move the mother out of the house. In my opinion children are better off being separated from their mother at around age 13 or 14, relegating the relationship to a casual status for the next few years, giving them opportunity to grow.

By the time my sister was 12 and myself 10 my mother was the only child left in the house.

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Having a pre-teen girl of my own, I am not so sure that the emotions of the early and middle teen years for girls are significantly less intense than the male's sexual drive. Males have moments that come and go. I remember sweating at night.

But is it so different with girls? My daughter, who is just beginning her puberty years, seems constantly torn with doubt and indecision now that puberty has begun. I work with her on techniques for thinking through the feelings, which seems to help somewhat, and she is getting better at controlling herself topically. Once I have convinced her that her feelings are not objective reality, it is merely a question of her own willpower to overcome and maintain a countenance that is not offensive to others and eventually detrimental to herself in terms of others cooperating with her in achieving her desires. She seems to understand currently and puts a significant effort in questioning the source of her feelings. We will see how it progresses as the feelings intensify.

Puberty tends to be a far more difficult time for girls than it is for boys. It suddenly brings into focus their entire future as a woman and they have to confront the issue of whether they have what it takes to be "successful" at it. Often, the girl has had a sheltered upbringing up until this point and isn't inwardly prepared for the onslaught of these responsibilities and demands.

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My experience of puberty consisted of: "Hey, I can masturbate now! Saweeeeeet!"

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DavidQuinn000 wrote:Puberty tends to be a far more difficult time for girls than it is for boys. It suddenly brings into focus their entire future as a woman and they have to confront the issue of whether they have what it takes to be "successful" at it. Often, the girl has had a sheltered upbringing up until this point and isn't inwardly prepared for the onslaught of these responsibilities and demands.

But to me they aren't really responsibilities or demands, only in any manner troublesome for a woman that has some masculine traits and wants to pursue something outside the square. The small minded will always consider their trifling issues major, but others may not, having better perspective. For women its just a matter of doing nothing, or at most simply following every other woman.

For me the sexual drive was very intense, so intense i chose not to let it have its head.


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Tharan wrote:Having a pre-teen girl of my own, I am not so sure that the emotions of the early and middle teen years for girls are significantly less intense than the male's sexual drive. Males have moments that come and go. I remember sweating at night.

Females emotions flood their mind more so than males, but they are nevertheless much weaker in comparison to males.

Imagine a shot-glass 97% filled with vodka representing females and their emotions, compared to a yardglass filled 90% with vodka for males.

Notice i am using the terms female and male, i am not utilising the character types woman and man.

Tharan wrote:But is it so different with girls? My daughter, who is just beginning her puberty years, seems constantly torn with doubt and indecision now that puberty has begun. I work with her on techniques for thinking through the feelings, which seems to help somewhat, and she is getting better at controlling herself topically. Once I have convinced her that her feelings are not objective reality, it is merely a question of her own willpower to overcome and maintain a countenance that is not offensive to others and eventually detrimental to herself in terms of others cooperating with her in achieving her desires. She seems to understand currently and puts a significant effort in questioning the source of her feelings. We will see how it progresses as the feelings intensify.

All talk and no substance, reflecting what is going on for her.

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Please enlighten me on how I might talk without substance.

David Quinn wrote:

Puberty tends to be a far more difficult time for girls than it is for boys. It suddenly brings into focus their entire future as a woman and they have to confront the issue of whether they have what it takes to be "successful" at it. Often, the girl has had a sheltered upbringing up until this point and isn't inwardly prepared for the onslaught of these responsibilities and demands.

Which explains why girls at this stage group tightly together, mimicking one another, constantly discussing boys and celebrities, clothes, make-up and hair. Striving to be a successful woman also causes them to become obsessed with their weight. Thinness is in, therefore so is anorexia and bulimia. Plastic surgery has become popular amongst this age group – which is crazy when they haven’t even stopped growing yet. Prior to reaching puberty a small percentage of girls experience depression and thoughts of suicide, but once puberty has begun, girls have both at adult levels. The big difference between teen boy suicide attempts and teen girl suicide attempts is that the boy’s attempts often prove fatal, whereas many of the teen girl’s attempts aren’t as serious – as they are more often a cry for help. But in both sexes, depression is a major cause of not only suicide, but also drug abuse and conduct disorders.

The concept of ‘teenager’ is a relatively new one, for in the past you were considered ‘grown up’ once you reached around thirteen years of age. Of course life expectancy was a lot lower in those days so it was a good idea to get your life going as early as possible. Also, most people lived in small communities with tight-knit families, which created strict boundaries for these young people to develop in. Perhaps that is what is so troublesome for our young men and women today – having to remain children for a lot longer means that they feel restless and at odds with their desires, which then causes them to act recklessly and harm themselves. Not that I’d recommend letting teenagers live more adult lives in these times. Many adults already feel thoroughly lost and alone – no need to add to their numbers. At least teenagers can blame their despair and angst on puberty, and it’s accepted - adults just have to keep blundering on.

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Sue

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Tharan wrote:Please enlighten me on how I might talk without substance.

You made mention of feelings, and desires, and confusion, but what in respect to? There were no actual issues mentioned. There were no things, only mush, reflecting what is going on for her.

Sure, mush is difficult, but David's comment was that the "responsibilities" placed on her are difficult. All she need to do is remain mush and she'll turn into a fine woman, which is no imposition upon her, being her basic nature already.

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sue hindmarsh wrote:David: Puberty tends to be a far more difficult time for girls than it is for boys. It suddenly brings into focus their entire future as a woman and they have to confront the issue of whether they have what it takes to be "successful" at it. Often, the girl has had a sheltered upbringing up until this point and isn't inwardly prepared for the onslaught of these responsibilities and demands.

Sue: Which explains why girls at this stage group tightly together, mimicking one another, constantly discussing boys and celebrities, clothes, make-up and hair. Striving to be a successful woman also causes them to become obsessed with their weight. Thinness is in, therefore so is anorexia and bulimia. Plastic surgery has become popular amongst this age group – which is crazy when they haven’t even stopped growing yet. Prior to reaching puberty a small percentage of girls experience depression and thoughts of suicide, but once puberty has begun, girls have both at adult levels. The big difference between teen boy suicide attempts and teen girl suicide attempts is that the boy’s attempts often prove fatal, whereas many of the teen girl’s attempts aren’t as serious – as they are more often a cry for help. But in both sexes, depression is a major cause of not only suicide, but also drug abuse and conduct disorders.

So what are the responsibilities and demands? Conformity, including being physically attractive and nurturing egos? Sure. But these are only in any manner a difficult task for females because they've only got a shot glass to work with. If a young male mind were to be adopt these aims it would find them a piddling task, and ultimately boring if too much emphasis were placed upon them.

Sue: The concept of ‘teenager’ is a relatively new one, for in the past you were considered ‘grown up’ once you reached around thirteen years of age. Of course life expectancy was a lot lower in those days so it was a good idea to get your life going as early as possible. Also, most people lived in small communities with tight-knit families, which created strict boundaries for these young people to develop in. Perhaps that is what is so troublesome for our young men and women today – having to remain children for a lot longer means that they feel restless and at odds with their desires, which then causes them to act recklessly and harm themselves. Not that I’d recommend letting teenagers live more adult lives in these times. Many adults already feel thoroughly lost and alone – no need to add to their numbers. At least teenagers can blame their despair and angst on puberty, and it’s accepted - adults just have to keep blundering on.

I recall my school principal saying during a private conversation with myself and a couple of friends that he reckoned the Australian Year 12 should be dropped so 17 to 18 year olds could be at university instead, where there is more freedom.

We agreed in silence, because it hit a true and sore point, and him saying it took us by surprise. I felt a touch of anger towards the principal, because i saw him as having the power to make change, but he seemed to not have exercised it. We felt somewhat cheated. We had already outgrown the teachers, even though by most standards they were very good.

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David: Puberty tends to be a far more difficult time for girls than it is for boys. It suddenly brings into focus their entire future as a woman and they have to confront the issue of whether they have what it takes to be "successful" at it. Often, the girl has had a sheltered upbringing up until this point and isn't inwardly prepared for the onslaught of these responsibilities and demands.

Rhett: But to me they aren't really responsibilities or demands, only in any manner troublesome for a woman that has some masculine traits and wants to pursue something outside the square. The small minded will always consider their trifling issues major, but others may not, having better perspective. For women its just a matter of doing nothing, or at most simply following every other woman.

For me the sexual drive was very intense, so intense i chose not to let it have its head.

Sexual desire is an imposition upon the already 'existent' male youth mind. In a few years its like a Tyrannosaurus Rex has taken residence in his house, eating his pets and slashing its teeth and claws at reality with impunity.

All this drive for something that whilst physically stimulating, is ultimately lacking in scope for creativity and freshness. Over and over the impulse says, this will be a victory, a conquest, suffering will cease, and the kingdom of heaven will be attained. It doesn't take much imagination to see this is all a lie. A wank, really.

But for the young male mind to accept the reality brings everything about his future life into question, and stands against all that is impressed upon him by society. Tough as they are, most are not tough enough.

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For those whom ask of pain or think pain exists then thus it

exists. But you of whom ask of no pain and think of no pain

then thus it does not exist. For you ask me why or even how

is this possible? For a human’s mind is more powerful than you

can imagine and can do incredible things. For I ask of you is

not to listen or ignore but to ponder on the subject. You can

believe anything you want and it shall be true to you.

For you are the creator of your reality.

Tek wrote:For those whom ask of pain or think pain exists then thus it exists. But you of whom ask of no pain and think of no pain then thus it does not exist. For you ask me why or even how is this possible? For a human’s mind is more powerful than you can imagine and can do incredible things. For I ask of you is not to listen or ignore but to ponder on the subject. You can believe anything you want and it shall be true to you. For you are the creator of your reality.

People sometimes hold on to pain because they are afraid if they let the pain go, the cause of the pain, which they see as external to themself, will not be addressed, and the pain will recur.

However, you neglect the method by which pain can be ceased. The method of course is to eradicate the ego, by coming to understand the nature of reality.

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Rhett Hamilton wrote:.

Tharan wrote:Please enlighten me on how I might talk without substance.

You made mention of feelings, and desires, and confusion, but what in respect to? There were no actual issues mentioned. There were no things, only mush, reflecting what is going on for her.

Sure, mush is difficult, but David's comment was that the "responsibilities" placed on her are difficult. All she need to do is remain mush and she'll turn into a fine woman, which is no imposition upon her, being her basic nature already.

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That seems some level of substance.

I heard a report on NPR today concerning how an inverted bell curve shape of background noise can actually improve concentration on limited, half-day tasks. Some "white" noise often improves the connections between potentially disparate nodes of focus in the brain. It helps with sleep and, for some people, concentration on tasks such as homework or cookng dinner. Background noise actually improves focus on a handful of initial items.

It is the same phenomenon that describes how added "noise" to a digital image can strengthen our perception of the image, up to and until a point of diminishing returns, when the image appears to increasingly become washed out.

Poison is in the Dose.

No one seems to get the message. I will make it simple……
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

Rhett wrote:

So what are the responsibilities and demands? Conformity, including being physically attractive and nurturing egos? Sure. But these are only in any manner a difficult task for females because they've only got a shot glass to work with. If a young male mind were to be adopt these aims it would find them a piddling task, and ultimately boring if too much emphasis were placed upon them.

It boils down to the fact that this phase of a woman’s life is fraught with danger – more so than any other part of her life. Prior to puberty, both girls and boys shine with the same feeling of lives filled with possibility. At puberty, she is flung into the reality that her future is totally reliant on her developing as a ‘good’ woman. This is very different than a boy during puberty – as he is given a few extra years of growing time before he has to take on the responsibilities of manhood. During this growing time he can increase his skills by testing himself through; competing in sports, academically, computer games, friendly wrestling, as well as slowly freeing himself from the authority of his parents so as to learn to stand alone. He suffers similar emotional turmoil as the girls do, but his are more focused on concrete problems which he either finds solutions to, or finds distractions from them. Sometimes the solutions and distractions he finds are extremely dangerous, or outright deadly – but that too is part of his ‘growing’.

But for young women there is no time, for she now has the body of a woman – so she must quickly learn how to use it to her advantage. If she wastes one moment of opportunity it may mean she is placed way back in the pack – and being so placed means that she feels that she is not living up to her potential. She then develops longer-lasting emotional disorders which create even more difficulties for her to meld into what she feels she must be.

So though women are born to be just that, the time of puberty is when this realization takes hold. A realization that not many of them are ready for, which means they do suffer. Of course, once she is in her late teens or early twenties, she has found her niche and her life is settled. For males, this is the time when they are just beginning to work out what shape their lives will take. It is most interesting that this is also the time when both men and women grow more serious about courting and coupling. (Yes – evolution has it worked out extremely well.)

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Sue