GENIUS FORUMS

No. Ultimately all we have to deal with are thoughts.

How is sensation/feeling anymore imagined then our thoughts?

Meditation Two: Concerning the Nature of the Human Mind: That It Is Lesser Known.

“Yesterdays meditation has thrown me into such doubts that I can no longer ignore them, yet I fail to see how they are to be resolved… I will accomplish this by putting aside everything that admits of the least doubt, as if I had discovered it to be completely false. I will stay on this course until I know something certain, or, if nothing else, until I at least know for certain that nothing is certain.”
As I stated in my last meditation, “it is a mark of prudence never to place our complete trust in those who have deceived us even once.” So, if I can’t trust the existence of my senses or my body, than what can I trust for certain? Before I embarked on these meditations the thought of a body with senses was eminent. So, am I the author of this thought, or is it being manipulated by some evil genius?
I will now shut my eyes, close up my ears, and meditate on my thoughts. As I meditate I realize that there are several different thoughts of contradicting personalities. I had already posited that I am not like the insane, whose brains are impaired by such an unrelenting vapor of black bile that they steadfastly insist that they have multiple personalities and are in fact, more than one person. So why do I have so many conflicting thoughts? I realize that one thought wants to act on impulse, when another thought analyzes that impulse, and yet another thought acts as a conscience to deface that impulse. I realize that these thoughts are constantly contradicting each other and arguing over every perception and action. So which one of these thoughts is in fact mine? Do I have control over these thoughts?
Upon further meditation I realize that sometimes when I pray, uncontrollable thoughts of various acts of sinning jump into my head and therefore into my prayer. When I pray to a holy god, I expect my thoughts to be pure; but in a mocking fashion thoughts of sex and violence plunge into my consciousness, against my own will. In fact, as I am writing this very sentence, there are other thoughts in my head willing me to write other things. Therefore, I conclude that I cannot control these thoughts. Since these thoughts are of contradicting nature, I cannot claim to be their sole author.
If my thoughts are playing tricks on me, how do I know that they are not tricking me into thinking that I exist, and therefore tricking me into thinking that I think? Maybe some other being of evil genius is controlling my thoughts, to make me think that I exist, when in fact I do not exist. Maybe this “thing” also makes me think that I am thinking, when in fact they are thinking for me. So I cannot deduce that “I exist”, I can only deduce that “something” exists. Neither can I deduce what that something is, because judging what you don’t understand subjects you to error. So from now on when I use the term “I”, I will keep in mind that I might not exist, but that “something” exists.
I know that my creativity comes when I am not thinking; but when I am in a “zone” of unconscious creative production. As a cinematographer, I have discovered that my best work is done not when I over-analyze and explore thoughts, but when I shut down my mind and let my creative unconscious take over. So where is this creativity coming from, if it is not coming from my thoughts? I could posit into the “collective unconscious” theory of Carl Jung, but I do not know if “I” exist, so how can I speculate that Carl Jung exists.
My brain is like a hamster wheel that constantly churns out conflicting thoughts and analyses. It is rare that I am ever not thinking, and I sometimes feel trapped inside my own uncontrollable thoughts (If these thoughts are even mine). I even find it difficult to sleep some nights, because this hamster wheel won’t allow me enough peace to fall asleep. What would happen if I shut off this hamster wheel? If I stopped thinking would “I” or that “something” cease to exist? If so than what would exist?
So, “I will now shut my eyes, stop up my ears, and withdraw all my senses.” I will blot out all of my thoughts, leaving nothing but my breath. Upon doing this I find that it is extremely difficult to quiet all of my thoughts; and when I successfully do so, seconds seem like hours. When I return to my thinking consciousness, I feel more relaxed and at peace than I did before. My thoughts seem more under my control, and less aimlessly churning. Upon analyzing the sensation of non-thinking, I come to speculate that I did not cease to exist, because the sensation of existence was still prevalent. My existence felt like it was of a completely different energy plane, than that of my thinking consciousness. I was able to experience this energy, because I prevented my thoughts from deceiving me.
I do not understand this energy, and therefore cannot make a judgment as to what it is. I cannot be certain: that I am the owner of this energy, or that it is the property of someone else, or that it belongs to a unified collective. I can only speculate that it does in fact exist. I can also speculate that the more I engage in this form of meditation, the more likely that I will understand this “other” energy. If nothing else, this form of meditation will help me to better control and organize my thinking consciousness (if in fact it is mine).

AlyOshA wrote:I had to preserve the integrity of the original. Notice the grammatical use of “than” as opposed to “then”.

AlyOshA wrote:Am I misunderstanding you or do you think I somehow intentionally meant to say “than” instead of “then”? If so that would be some very strange abstract/poetical kind reasoning, one that I can’t fathom how to justify.