GENIUS FORUMS

Hello I am "Xen" from the Netherlands.

In my own words, I reached what is called spiritual enlightenment or self realization two days ago.

I can tell you it has a lot to do with genius.

I reached this forum through Kevin Solway's book Poison for the Heart. He is the only other enlightened person that I know of. I found his book by "chance" many years ago.

I can tell you that once you become enlightened, everything changes. Basically, your morals change. You lose the sense of false compassion that says "i'm not gonna say or do this because it would upset someone, or make her feel grief, or hurt, or be offended, or despise me, or make me lose her acceptance or affection."

In fact, true compassion is about greater things, it is about freeing someone from his limited perspective. Not by intellectual convincing, but by demonstration. You demonstrate Who You Are, and in doing so, show the other Who They Are. As such, you give people back to themselves (a popular spiritual phrase).

My path to enlightenment happened through the Conversations with God books by Neale Donald Walsch, almost solely. It also happened through multiple psychotic experiences that all prepared the way for me. It also happened through a love for se-xual domination and fantasy.

All these things came together and worked together to provide in me a greater clarity as to the nature of love, fear, consciousness, unconsciousness, intentions, positive energy and negative energy, respect, honesty, clarity, choice, and finally, they yielded in me an awareness of the true identity of human beings and of all life everywhere. I find it hard to remember what caused me to cross the line. I realized what being a Master means. What true, loving choice is. Then I realized that loving choice is the identity of the human and that all else about us is false.

I'm not an intellectual person, too difficult thought is not for me. My genius is in spiritual understanding. Not logic. Not difficult words. But the understanding that arises from pairing two contradictory statements and rising above them.

I'm not really interested in debating the nature of Genius on this forum, but I'd like to give you the opportunity, and for me also the chance, to tell me what you think about it when you now hear of it, ask me questions if you want, and see where it leads.

Kudos, Xen

Interesting. How old are you, Xen?

Yes and what's your star sign, Xen?

Hi, Bob, Blair,

I am now 29 years old and soon to be 30.

Not sure what my star sign has to do with anything but I'm a Leo, they say, with ascendant in Cancer.

Xen wrote:I am now 29 years old and soon to be 30.

Really, that's cool, 'cause not everyone goes from 29 to 30. Sometimes its something else...

What's your height and weight? What's your sexual orientation? What's your hair color? Do you have freckles? Have you ever had moles on the skin that were removed because they might cause skin cancer?

Ever been on an Ark?

Lol I'm straight with a medium blonde hair color.

What's an Ark?

I feel I could not have reached my current point through the same path had I been gay or a woman. Due to the relation between the male and the female.

You may very well be on to the real deal, Xen. Best wishes in hanging on to your newfound state and developing it to the fullest. 'Pink cloud' experiences come to many. Though very rare are they who ride them out for the rest of their lives.

:) Thank you Bob.

Yes I'm only at the beginning. Some people feel as if enlightenment is some end point and then you are perfectly happy and at peace, but it doesn't end like that, instead it begins like that.

And it takes a lot of courage because you want to start being who you are in the world, and the world is not very happy with that. But precisely by being it, do you heal the world. Because you rid it of its own false idea of itself.

Here is a question about enlightenment:

If you know that you are the source of everything that appears in your life,

such as your health, or your financial wealth,

does that mean you can stop eating and still be healthy?

Xen wrote:Here is a question about enlightenment:

If you know that you are the source of everything that appears in your life,

such as your health, or your financial wealth,

does that mean you can stop eating and still be healthy?

Your consciousness is the source of your experience of biological necessities.

edit: 1) what the hell is "se-xual domination" (typo?)

2) what do you think of David's Wisdom of the Infinite?

Xen wrote:Here is a question about enlightenment:

If you know that you are the source of everything that appears in your life,

such as your health, or your financial wealth,

does that mean you can stop eating and still be healthy?

You will still be healthy, but the body will waste away and consciousness will end.

-

You would still be awake but awareness of the senses would end.

bluerap wrote: edit: 1) what the hell is "se-xual domination" (typo?)

I wasn't allowed to write the word "sex" in my first post.

2) what do you think of David's Wisdom of the Infinite?

I read the introduction chapter of his book. He has a pleasant writing style.

I disagree with him, but not entirely. I believe intellectual understanding of reality is very important, but not in an intellectual way, if you know what I mean. You must be willing to part with logic.

You must be willing to hold two contradictory statements in the same space and recognize that both are true.

For example, you would pair "duality in thinking is our greatest obstacle" with "duality in thinking is necessary in understanding reality" and you would arrive at a greater understanding.

Other fundamental dichotomies, as they are called, are "all there is is Love" and "Love exists next to Fear". And "all is one" and "all is many". And "everyone is perfect" and "no one is perfect". Pair these statements and rise above them, and you will find great understanding and truth.

The nature of reality is basically dualistic on the one hand, because all motivations are either motivated by love or fear. Every intention, every action, every spoken word, arises out of either love or fear, or one of the derivatives of fear such as anger, grief, etc. But at the same time, fear is an expression of love, for it is the expression of love for the (limited) self that you hold and experience. Therefore, it can be said that fear is unreal and all there is is love. You see, dualism and nondualism go hand in hand.

Be ready therefore, to abandon logic at the drop of a hat. Dedicate yourself to a greater logic. You must be out of your mind in order to know God.

"Your consciousness is the source of your experience of biological necessities."

"You will still be healthy, but the body will waste away and consciousness will end."

"You would still be awake but awareness of the senses would end."

Hmm interesting responses, thank you.

Basically my own current understanding has to do with beingness and how it expresses itself.

Someone on another forum said to me "We do not eat to become healthy, we eat because we are healthy".

Basically, not-eating would not agree with a state of health. Therefore, were we to be healthy, we would continue to eat and take care of ourselves. Were we to stop doing that, we would no longer be expressing a state of being that could be described as "healthy", and since that is not our state of being, we would not be it. We would not be, or remain, healthy.

Eating food does not MAKE us healthy but it is a necessary element of BEING healthy, in a way. It is the way in which the inner state is realized through external material actions and events.

Xen wrote:I read the introduction chapter of his book. He has a pleasant writing style.
I disagree with him, but not entirely. I believe intellectual understanding of reality is very important, but not in an intellectual way, if you know what I mean...

You should read the entire essay. I bet you'll find that you agree with him more than you might think :)

You must be willing to hold two contradictory statements in the same space and recognize that both are true.
For example, you would pair "duality in thinking is our greatest obstacle" with "duality in thinking is necessary in understanding reality" and you would arrive at a greater understanding.
Other fundamental dichotomies, as they are called, are "all there is is Love" and "Love exists next to Fear". And "all is one" and "all is many". And "everyone is perfect" and "no one is perfect". Pair these statements and rise above them, and you will find great understanding and truth.

The nature of reality is basically dualistic on the one hand, because all motivations are either motivated by love or fear. Every intention, every action, every spoken word, arises out of either love or fear, or one of the derivatives of fear such as anger, grief, etc. But at the same time, fear is an expression of love, for it is the expression of love for the (limited) self that you hold and experience. Therefore, it can be said that fear is unreal and all there is is love. You see, dualism and nondualism go hand in hand.

I don't know where people get the idea that to "abandon logic" is the way to enlightenment.. how can you ever abandon logic? It's impossible. Without logic, you cannot structure thoughts, words, or any explanations to anything. You use logic in every ounce of your writing, it exists everywhere. Whether people see the logic or not, is another matter.

Be ready therefore, to abandon logic at the drop of a hat. Dedicate yourself to a greater logic.

Well obviously I'm going to say here that you contradict yourself by saying "drop logic" then "dedicate your self to a greater logic." Perhaps here you are saying not to actually drop logic entirely, but to drop faulty logic, and that I can agree with.

You must be out of your mind in order to know God.

IMO, A better way to put this would be "You must fully understand your dualistic mind in order to know God."

Remember, truth is in the contradictions ;-).

When I say "drop logic" I mean to say "drop the need for two contradictory statements to remain contradictory in your understanding".

I don't think I fully understand my dualistic mind. I also can't say whether I know God. All I can say is that I realized my true identity (or at least the first, deeply felt incarnation of it) and that I crossed the line between "seeing the illusion as reality" and "seeing the illusion as illusion".

David Quinn speaks in his introduction about the dualistic idea of there being a "enlightened reality" and a "unenlightened reality" (or sets of consciousness) being false because they are rooted in duality. I have myself experienced that there are indeed two sets of opposing consciousness that are in some sense absolutely distinct from one another. But it is important to know that the new does not abandon the old! For the old creates the context in which the new may be experienced! I am talking about the illusory nature of the (material) universe. We must remain "within" the illusion in order to work with it, and we must work with it in order to experience the truth!

I have decided I am not going to read the remainder of his book, for now. I am sure there are going to be some interesting concepts being addressed, and I noticed a few already, but if I need them life will source them to me in some other way. His book is too much about strict logic for me. The rational mind. For example, the treatise on cause and effect, I would say, yes, it IS true, BUT there is another side to it.

Xen wrote:But it is important to know that the new does not abandon the old! For the old creates the context in which the new may be experienced! I am talking about the illusory nature of the (material) universe. We must remain "within" the illusion in order to work with it, and we must work with it in order to experience the truth!

Yes, because consciousness "acts" in duality. The importance is in the application of the realization that duality is the illusion.

I think we agree on this stuff for the most part, but having read both David and Kevin's book, my view is that they both go together hand in hand very nicely; David's book as the fundamentals of reality/enlightenment, Kevin's book as sort of a practical guide for application of enlightenment.

However, I don't blame for not reading David's book at this time, as it isn't an easy read, especially the first time, because of how deep it goes into the logical understanding of reality. But I do want to suggest that your thoughts are not in disagreement of his as much as you think they are. There are parallels in your posts and in what is in the book, albeit more profoundly explained in the book.

bluerap wrote:Yes, because consciousness "acts" in duality. The importance is in the application of the realization that duality is the illusion.

Hmm this could be true. Consciousness has to take on form and form is always something that distinguishes between "this and that"? For instance, every sentence is composed of words that have structure and logical meaning; concepts that have some more or less well defined meaning that gives interpretation to the expression...

Of course, the freedom lies in the fact that concepts (and the terms that point to the concepts) are NOT solidly defined, and you may play with your definition to change your interpretation of said logical structure. It's what's behind the words that really points to the truth (as you understand it).

But I don't think duality is the illusion. The illusion is not that there is a body that has needs. The illusion is that we ARE the body that has needs, or that we ARE our mind/emotion that has needs. It's a mistaken identity.

At the same time I know (experientially) that everything we see in the outside world is unreal, and that our true reality exists within. I'm not sure how to pair these two statements of mine. I would say that illusion may exist on two different levels.

One illusion is space/time and the material world. The other, building upon this, is that we ARE the material world. Some say life is but a dream from which we all must wake. Or that the material universe exists in the mind of God. But whatever you say, by any reasonable definition of "existing", the material world exists.

In fact, I don't think you can give any other meaning to "exist". The material world defines that word, because it is the type of existence that is relevant to us. You might say "nothing exists" but this is meaningless. You have to give the word some useful meaning.

So I don't think it serves you to say that the material world does not exist. You may say it is illusory... but to us it is very real. I prefer using "illusion" in the sense of "the belief that we are mortal, imperfect beings that have needs that have to be met from the outside world, of which we are separated."

I feel David Quinn's words are of a lower vibration that I now do not wish to expose myself to.

But it is a special kind of lower vibration. Maybe it's not lower at all. But it seems to leave something out. The intuitive mind. Maybe Quinn's rational mind is perfected, but in his book, it is just not paired with his intuitive mind.

I dunno.

Xen wrote:I feel David Quinn's words are of a lower vibration that I now do not wish to expose myself to.

But it is a special kind of lower vibration. Maybe it's not lower at all. But it seems to leave something out. The intuitive mind. Maybe Quinn's rational mind is perfected, but in his book, it is just not paired with his intuitive mind.

I dunno.

Look, dumbass.

Just read the fuckin' book or just shut the fuck up, already ;-)

Your bearish stupidity is wearing thin ;-(

That was also of a low vibration, but I don't mind ;-)

Xen,

In my own words, I reached what is called spiritual enlightenment or self realization two days ago.

Great breakthrough Xen.
'Beginner's Mind' feels wonderful.
Be there as that and stabilise in that.
Not many ARE that and you know that as you engage.

What actually happened a few days ago that caused it?

Hey,

well my current enlightenment has been the process of my whole life, but more recently it started in May 2011.

It has been an ongoing process that started last May end ended in the second week of July.

It started with an internet forum discussion that got sparked because I said "I'm proud that I'm able to sit back and enjoy my time while not being able to do much, and that I don't let other people push me around who think they know better." This sparked a wave of judgmental replies as to my supposed inactivity and my inability to "connect the dots" in relation to what needed to happen in my life, to get it going again.

These people obviously thought they knew better, and that they would do better in my situation because my passivity was, in their eyes, due to a flaw in my character.

The discussion got really intense and focused fully on my flaws of character, which I didn't admit to being there, and after a while I turned it around and started to criticize their lack of respect for my condition and situation. But there was one person who was neutrally and respectfully observative and he analyzed my psychology in a way with which I agreed. And I saw that I had had a blind spot that caused me to be not very respectful of other's opinions, which partly caused the fierce responses I got from the others. Their disrespect sparked my disrespect which escalated their disrespect.

I learned that I have always hated people who disrespected my opinions and that I always railed against it, or, dealt with it by trying to convince others of my truth. If another agreed with me, he would not disrespect me, and I would be safe. I had no problems with people who respectfully disagreed with me.

The discussion was so intense that it caused me a mental breakdown and a short psychosis. But I came out of it without the blind spot.

Then my heart opened. I had never really loved anyone, or at least, I did not experience the feeling of love. But now I felt love for the first time.

In the weeks that followed I continued to debate those same people and I learned about the nature of their disrespect, and how we interacted with each other. I also started to meet new people, several in a short period, that I loved - some were real life friends and others were from online games or dating sites. I began to feel greater love for them as time went on.

There was one girl who is a spiritual and intellectual person of equal "standing" to myself, and I had great conversations with her, and I love her, though not as great.

Another girl made me realize that I hate a lot of people, especially the ones that disrespect me. I had always thought that I didn't hate anyone, but this is not true.

Another girl became a good friend who I love intensely, and who acted as a catalyst for my love to increase and expand. She also gave me music that I needed to enhance my love, which I still listen to now. This girl has now submitted to my will, in some sense.

I started sending out really poetic loving messages on dating sites to women. I described these women as a "brilliant diamond", "shining star", "sparkling water". And so on. This became my new truth about all people. All people are absolutely beautiful. This is what I feel.

There was also a girl who I loved and who I knew loved me, but when I said this to her, she refused to talk to me anymore. I thought she was a whore for doing this. In any case, I sent her some gifts in the online game we played, and this moved her enough to begin speaking with me again, against both of our expectations.

But in the conversation that followed, I called her a whore. In a playful, dominating way. She replied "wtf is wrong with you?" and stopped talking there and then. But I told her I didn't need her to be my friend if she didn't want to, and that I loved her all the same.

I had long since realized that my love is eternal. There is a song by Cat Stevens that ends with "This rose will never die." and that has become my life's saying so to speak. In 17 days time or so I will send her some more flowers in the game and see how she responds to that. Then I will stop "watching" her and keep my love for her confined in my heart.

But I don't feel like I lost her. Instead, I was The Gift to her. It was after that conversation that I realized I had "crossed the line" and that I had self realized.

This rose will never die

Beginner's Mind is truly wondrous.
Open Heart.
Breathtaking.
Lovely.
Beautiful.
Expansive.
Gorgeous.

The rose will never die.

Because Society doesn't know about it.
It can't nurture it.

Bringing the rose to Society.
Bringing the Gift to Society.

For the rose to perpetually bloom,
the Wisdom pattern is present and available.

Hmm Beginner's Mind.

The strategy to set aside all your old assumptions for a while and experience something fresh in the present moment.

I can't tell you how often I encounter individuals who have such a solid, massive ego or self-image that provides them with a sense of being something positive, even when they are being very negative... that they will never see the negativity underneath.

And yet seeing the negativity is liberating! The openness to look at yourself, to go beneath the surface... to accept someone else's observation about you... how hard it is... how rewarding it is!

But you cannot force a person's mind open. All you can do is provide the space and the respect, the safety in which the petals can open up themselves. And sometimes you can shock them with your love, but shocking them with fear will never work!