Dan Rowden who comes darkly! please consider:
You might want to look at how much of a contradiction exists in these two statements:
"But now I can proudly say that I am above it all and have greater faith in the greater power!"
"Ah! I mustn't dwell too much on her, or else my heart shrinks!"
But Dan my friend - - - it's true that I am not polished so perfectly that a small sensual, nostaligic, romantic and wistful thought does not potentially lead to another one, and another and another. Thoughts can indeed snowball and squash my heart! But I don't let it get
that out of hand.
But I my faith is not so strong that the heart and mind do not fluxate to the rule of my past.
But the rule of my faith goes against the stream of my past.
I paddle against the current quickly, sometimes I falter, somtimes i get sucked back for a while.
But the faith is the reason why I go against the stream.
My faith is as great as it can be at this stage of lifes way.
But not SO great that I don't sometimes go feverish in the turgid, shallow waters.
Who has faith like that? That man, or those men.....they are a great golden village against a green hostile wilderness.
I come from the wilderness, I see above the animals, and look down at them with both love and a ruthless eye. I walk with faith. But I am not without an entity within, an entity, an energy, a demon that steals. But what has he to feed on?
Not as much these days. less and less. Soon their will only be crumbs and he will be frail. he has already been weakened enough.
Enough that I can laugh alone and cry whole heartedly.
The pig still feeds from the grain, but the the great famine is coming! Luckily, I am of no body, I am not one that feeds from what goes into a mere silo, I am not even the farmer.
Sometimes I get thinking and it seems innocent enough, but the next thing you know I am masturbating. That is the bad entity who eclipses faith. That is the animal, the pig, feeding on the grain.
When the groin goes hard, the mind goes limp.
The poor pig. He is innocent enough. But he must be slaughtered and left in extinction.
A man can have great faith, be noble, but have times when the power of a noble heart becomes usurped by a hot and turgid entity of thought.
Let the entity feed on whats left of the grain in the silo.
Lets not waste the pig and lets not waste the grain.
The faith is great enough to cease replenishing the old useless silo, even though, I let the pig feed on the grain at times.
The faith is great enough to not plan for more pigs.
The last supper awaits!
