Given that serious thinking involves challenging everything in a direct and purposeful manner there is bound to be anxiety involved, particularly in the early stages of the endeavour. That’s natural. After all, the serious thinker is choosing to undermine the very foundations of his place in the world. Not only is he challenging his own deepest beliefs and cultural conditioning, but he is placing himself in conflict with his family, friends and peers, and alienating himself from the human race more generally. And the only weapons available to him are his own reasoning powers and faith in truth. What a mismatch! This is where courage comes into play, and courage implies anxiety.Avolith wrote: ↑Sun Jan 06, 2019 5:02 am
You mention a life-and-death quest. Sometimes I feel an anxiety coming up when thinking. It's quite subtle and it tends to get cut off, with a vague idea of the potential for it growing into something more potent. Is this what you might be referring to? Is it just part of it?
Is the anxiety you are describing purely of this kind? Or are there other sources of anxiety involved, such as conventional forms of neurosis and mental illness? Not knowing anything about you, I can’t say. It is something you will have to determine for yourself. What sort of thoughts come to mind when you start feeling anxious?
Yes.Avolith wrote: ↑Sun Jan 06, 2019 5:02 amAnd/Or, Is this life-and-death situation something that comes about once enough insight has accumulated and it's seen that there really is no viable alternative in the worldly world, eg all avenues become closed off and your only way to life is to understand? If so, would you say that that's a necessary condition?
Yes.
The risk is remaining trapped in delusion for the rest of your life.Avolith wrote: ↑Sun Jan 06, 2019 5:02 amThe risk being, a misunderstanding, maybe permanent, I suppose?David Quinn wrote: ↑Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:29 am Once you have broken through and grasped the very root of everything, then you can broaden back out and start reading the likes of Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and so on, with safety.
When a person lacks fundamental insight and has no real desire to attain it, reading simply becomes a passive exercise in strengthening and reaffirming the deepest assumptions, biases and beliefs inside him that remain unchallenged. The neural processes that occur when reading remain stunted and distorted at a superficial level.
A couple of things:David Quinn wrote: ↑Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:29 amSo then, given that the purpose of the texts is for the reader to leave the words and ascend to an urgent, life-and-death quest, and the texts should be used sparingly to deeply meditate on specific passages, I almost get the sense that it doesn't really matter which specific passage I meditate on (assuming it's true and relevant of course)
I tried to follow your advice today. I focused on a specific passage, trying to figure it out. I could more or less form a conceptual understanding of things but that was not very useful in and of itself. I tried to take the next step, which effectively turned into a storm of thoughts going through my head, where I was trying to relate the concept to memories, my immediate experience, trying to reason with it, and so forth. Is that how it's supposed to go - I doubt it because I repeatedly read that the ultimate goal involves the cessation of all conceptual thought. Or, is the storm perhaps supposed to collapse in onto itself once the opposing conflicting thoughts have annihilated eachother? Or rather that seeing all these inconsistencies somehow intuitively spurs the forming of a non conceptual understanding.
- It’s good that you gave it a go, but you really need to make a whole lifestyle out of it. It has to be constant, day after day, continually seeking to immerse your mind in the ultimate understanding. This should be happening not only when you are sitting in a chair and reading, but also when you are out and about and living your life more generally. Your whole life should be in meditation. The goal is to live directly in reality without interruption, not confine it to a small portion of the mind that enjoys intellectual understanding. This is the only way that shifts at the deepest level can occur. It can take months, or even years, for these shifts to occur.
- Forget about trying to stop thoughts and achieve a blank mind. That is a populist delusion. It won’t lead to enlightenment. It will only lead to hell. Allow the mind to form concepts naturally. Your only focus should be to rationally examine them as they arise and discard them when they prove to be mistaken. As time goes by and your understanding deepens, more and more false concepts will fall away of their own accord. The non-conceptual understanding that the sages talk about arises at the very end of this process.
Enlightened understanding is non-conceptual in the sense that it does not rely on any specific concept to prop it up. It is all pervasive. It infuses all of one’s experiences and thoughts. One literally goes beyond all concepts, not into a black mind, but into infinite freedom.