It wasn't spontaneous in the way I understand the word, but rather the effect of some very specific processes. It just wasn't intended, since we had no idea about this being possible. In hindsight I've come to understand how it happened and why it makes sense, and I'm still exploring this because I find it very interesting.ComfortablyNumb wrote: I question what you were doing 3 days prior that caused this "enlightenment" to occur. How did it happen? I dont really believe in this spontaneous enlightment ive heard of.
I can't really compare it to something, but that may well be true. I'm not sure traumas in general are conducive to enlightenment, I'm sure they can be very counter productive, my suspicion is that it's more about how you handle it and your attitude towards it. I can say for sure that the enlightenment helped with the trauma, and hopefully the trauma is reciprocating. ;)ComfortablyNumb wrote: If anything id think your more likely to become enlightened after this tragedy.
I'm not sure I'd like to stick a “meaning” on life (hard to back that up) but as a strategy for living I think he is spot on. Once you lose the fear and anxiety that is connected to death, life becomes so much easier and more fulfilling. You don't have to take it so seriously.ComfortablyNumb wrote: Like eckart toile claims "the meaning of life is to die before you die and live again" something like that
I'm going out on a limb here but when you say “come out of this” I get the impression that you want to climb out of the hole the same way you came in. Which will obviously only get you back to where you started.ComfortablyNumb wrote: I have also suffered my whole life through depression. And the past 2 years have had the only thing I cared about ripped away from me. I know I will defenetely become more "enlightened" than I was before if I ever come out of this. Or I will die in the process.
One of the things that helped me the most was realizing that suicide is not something to be avoided or talked out of, but something to accept and incorporate into your life. Consider these two statements:
1. Whether to die or go on living is the most important decision you make, and therefor one you should be making all the time. You need to make an active choice, or you might as well leave and make room for someone else.
2. There are only three ways you can die. Trying to live and failing, trying to die and succeeding, and surprise. For some reason the worst way (trying to live and failing) is the only one acceptable to society.
I keep living by active choice because there are still some fun things I want to do and stuff I want to figure out. Once I get bored I'm going to try the alternative. This way my life will probably be short and intense rather than long and boring, and I won't have to worry about saving for retirement. Just the way I like it.
When you're depressed people will try to make you less depressed. An option to that would be to come out on the other side. I mean fuck it, if life is really so grim, why not end it? Just stay alive because it would cause others a hassle not doing so? Fuck that. Just set a date for next year when you're going to kill yourself and make the preparations. Then you have one year to live it up. You can do whatever you want and don't have to worry about any consequences (unless you want to). Irresponsible? Hell yes. So what? The option is to mope around as a zombie waiting for the body to give up just to not upset anyone. That seems like a waste of a life.