Absent Mindedness

[Loki]

Not sure if anyone here has this problem.

I live with a roommate. It's been about 3 months, and gradually he picks on me more and more for little things I do, and I find it very distracting in my quest to see the big picture. I experience a lot of inner freedom, I don't feel much psychological pain and have really interesting thoughts all the time. I feel like I'm living a full life with some interesting friendships. But when it comes to keeping track of mundane physical things like putting a towel back on a rack properly, putting away my coffee can, or putting my shoes on the mat properly or other little details, I tend not to notice what i'm doing. A lot of the mundane physical things are automatic, I do them without thinking, often without awareness of the actions. But this is because I'm living inwardly, thinking big picture, abstractly. Every few days, I do a scan of the kitchen or the apartment and put away everything that has accumulated.

Today I emptied a can of apple juice. I opened a new can. Somehow I put both the full can and the empty can in the fridge together.

So he gets on my case as if it's significant.

Is it? Should all these mundane details matter? Why does he even bring them up? I feel like I'm living an interesting life and I'm wondering if his unconscious prerogative is to make me think petty like him?

Is absent mindedness about mundane details a sign of greater intellectual freedom?

Whenever conversation occurs at our apartment, he never contributes anything very interesting to the discussion, mostly stays quiet or if he brings something up, it's petty and gossipy.

He also accused me of not living in the moment. But thinking beyond the mundane world is a type of living in the moment. I can't pay attention to every detail in the moment. I have to pick and choose what is worth paying attention too. An empty can of apple juice in the fridge isn't going to hurt anyone.

[Cahoot]

He also accused me of not living in the moment. But thinking beyond the mundane world is a type of living in the moment. I can't pay attention to every detail in the moment. I have to pick and choose what is worth paying attention too. An empty can of apple juice in the fridge isn't going to hurt anyone.

Hi Loki.

As you noted in your posting, at home your attention is on thoughts, and thoughts appear in the moment, even if those thoughts are of the future or the past.

If your roommate disturbs your peace of mind then the disturbance is an indication of where you should place awareness, and awareness allows the peace of mind that becomes large enough to encompass perceptions.

I’ve noticed that quite often, people punish. Usually the punishment takes milder, verbal forms such as teasing or criticizing. It originates as an attitude towards life, the actions of another simply allow the manifestation. If doing so interests you then you can investigate and speculate about what affects the attitude of another. Probably the most compassionate, efficient and truthful way to do that is to investigate what affects your own attitudes, for in understanding yourself you can understand seemingly disconnected motivations in others.

Like Bill Cosby says, when he’s out driving everyone in front of him is an idiot, and everyone behind him is a maniac. No matter what you do, there will be someone around thinking that you should be doing something else. So incorporating awareness of this dynamic allows one the perspective of situation.

Situations do exist where attention to detail is important, and in such cases the impetus for the criticism is probably not punishment, but even if the impetus is punishment then that’s only relevant in as much as it motivates one to behave correctly, correctly being defined by the situation. For example, someone who works in a nuclear energy plant does need to maintain attention on details. Mr. Burns needs to punish when Homer wanders off the job to eat donuts, because Homer has a problem, as defined by the circumstance.

In the circumstance of home, a punishing attitude directed towards someone living under the same roof is a form of domestic violence, and roommates qualify as part of a domestic scene even through there is no emotional or blood commitment. People have the human right to relax and be safe from a punishing attitude where they live, and the existence of that right is not a problem.

The matter of “picking and choosing” that you mention is also a worthwhile contemplation. When awareness enlarges to the extent that peace of mind encompasses all facets of ever-changing perceptions, then denying the existence of certain perceptions because they fail to mesh with an ideology (such as peacefulness) becomes superfluous. The blinders come off, and one is not so much committed to being a nice guy or gal regardless of the circumstance. Life and perceptions are not ruled by duality, such as the duality implied in the willful act of “choosing,” to be nice and act in a peaceful manner. Situations rather than attachment to an egocentric identity become the basis of action and non-action. One simply does what one must do, compassionately aware of, but undisturbed by, the actions of another that are motivated by their need to punish. Then, whatever one does is not a problem because one cannot do the “wrong” thing, which is why, in the proper circumstance of knowing, cheerfully telling your roommate to fuck off would be the choiceless, right thing to do.

Jiddu Krishnamurti is quoted from time-to-time on this board.

Here is an interesting observation of his to contemplate.

"Out of my confusion, bewilderment, uncertainty, the feeling of being incapable of clarity - out of this I act. I choose a leader; I choose a certain course of action; and I commit myself to a particular activity, but that activity, that pattern of action, the pursuit of a particular mode of thought is the result of my confusion. If I'm not confused, if there is no confusion whatsoever, then there is no choice; I see things as they are. I act not on choice."

"A mind capable of choosing is really a very confused mind. perhaps you may not agree with this, but, please, if I may suggest, just listen to the very end of it, neither agreeing nor disagreeing."

- Jiddu Krishnamurti
NEW YORK 3RD PUBLIC TALK 30TH SEPTEMBER 1966
http://www.jiddu-krishnamurti.net/en/19 ... ublic-talk

[Tomas]

.

-Loki-
I live with a roommate.

-tomas-
One or two bedroom apartment?


-Loki-
Every few days, I do a scan of the kitchen or the apartment and put away everything that has accumulated.

-tomas-
Good for you!


-Loki-
Today I emptied a can of apple juice. I opened a new can.
Somehow I put both the full can and the empty can in the fridge together.
So he gets on my case as if it's significant.

-tomas-
Do you shop together, was the juice yours/his or shared food?


-Loki-
Is it?

-tomas-
Buy a mini-fridge and keep your minor stuff like soda, juices, milk, cheese etc in your own cooler.


-Loki-
Whenever conversation occurs at our apartment, he never contributes anything very interesting to the discussion, mostly stays quiet or if he brings something up, it's petty and gossipy.

-tomas-
Life is hard, may as well think about a different roomie.


-Loki-
He also accused me of not living in the moment.

-tomas-
Get used to it, one must live in the moment when living with another guy (especially if you are both gay). And if you're both straight, find an umpire and air your differences and let the disinterested third party settles the scores.


-Loki-
An empty can of apple juice in the fridge isn't going to hurt anyone.

-tomas-
Yes, it would be fucking annoying if done on a regular basis. Seriously dude, find a new roomie or find a lower scale apartment to move to if the finances are tight.

[m4tt_666]

the odd couple.

[paco]

He,s gay.
A carnal man, is unstable in all his ways.
luke 1:6