GENIUS FORUMS

What's the worst thing that you've ever done in your own opinion?
I have said that at times I am the villain and not just the hero in my story so I figured I would confess my top 3 sins.

1.) By far my greatest sin was becoming infatuated to the point of delusion. Yes, I once lost my "soul" to a man I loved insanely. This of course hurt myself the most. I forgot my sense of self entirely and felt as though he were far more important than myself or even reality.

2.) Another sin I have committed was being cruel to a different mate. Among other things I over reacted and smacked him for daring to insult me. I know it's silly to regret things but I still do considering how unworthy he is/was for such cruelty.

3.) I once was robbed by a man who broke into the place I was staying. He stole over $200 from me and in a fit of rage I barged into his place and picked up a fish tank and threw it at him.
I really feel bad for the fish.


It was only after I became hopelessly depressed and suicidal that I began acting out and being mean. Until that point I had been extremely calm and kind in my behavior even if I was seething with hate underneath. Being suicidal I didn't care what the consequences of my actions were and was not thinking long term anymore. Thankfully I've regained most of my composure since that dark time of my life.

Seriously, if those are the worst things you've ever done you don't have that much to be concerned about. Those are mundane acts of egotism, really. Yes, they seem terrible when bathed in the light of a more sensitive and awake consciousness, but I'd give them a 3 out of 10 on a scale of horribleness - and that's probably being harsh.

Ok so what would be a 10?

I can only answer that from my own purpose and value base. There's certainly no objective standard from which to say. I'd have to think about it, frankly, because my answer involves the level of consciousness of the person involved. Just off the top of my head: knowingly deceiving people ranks very highly on my scale of "sinfulness" (if we leave out the obvious stuff of killing and torturing and so forth)...

This is a very odd thread with even weirder content. Orenholt, you sound incredibly unrealistic and confused here. Or are you making it all up? Are you for reall??

What's so weird about it? I just consider it to be casual discussion.
How do I sound unrealistic and confused?
I'm not making it up. I'm for real.

Orenholt....you don't need to confess anything here. Rarely is anyone here open and honest about their personal life. I have learned the hard way to not be so open . It has cramped my style...as I love being honest and open too. But people have turned on me, and I no longer trust or feel the need to open up my personal life to strangers that will stab you in the back any chance they get.

Easy to say things hiding behind the cloak of a nickname of course. I don't believe you can be honest about your personal life, Kunga, simply because you cannot observe properly your own words or reasoning either. So your stories are basically cat-box litter designed to make people care.

Orenholt wrote:What's so weird about it? I just consider it to be casual discussion. How do I sound unrealistic and confused?

Oren, it's just that I would put those three "worst" things perhaps in my top ten best things or least most exciting and emotional things. There's just not much "wrong" with those things, they are barely vices or mistakes. Emotional perhaps but for most people that would be life as they know it. Perhaps you don't go out much, I don't know. If I have to make a real list I probably would get in trouble, perhaps even legally or at least others might suffer. And I'm not even a bad person or criminal or something.

The best way with these things might be to think about everything at least a month and then decide if it's still worth doing. That would save a lot of trouble in most cases. Others might not have patience enough to wait for a decision or response though. But sometimes a day already changes a lot as emotion always fluctuates and an actual thought might get through.

Diebert van Rhijn wrote:Easy to say things hiding behind the cloak of a nickname of course. I don't believe you can be honest about your personal life, Kunga, simply because you cannot observe properly your own words or reasoning either. So your stories are basically cat-box litter designed to make people care.

And this just proves how dishonest and deceiveing you are, hiding behind your name. Just because you reveal your real name dosn't mean you reveal who you are on a personal level. You get in people face when you feel threatened....but you are afraid to reveal who you really are behind the real name. All I know about you is that you live in Denmark. Have you ever been married ? Are you straight or gay ? What's your religion ? Of course you wont answer any personal questions....because you want to remain hidden behind your fake/real name.

Diebert van Rhijn wrote: Oren, it's just that I would put those three "worst" things perhaps in my top ten best things or least most exciting and emotional things.

Yes, being infatuated to the point of delusion felt good while it was happening but I realized my mistake and it was detrimental to myself. It would be like being a crack fiend realizing that his life is falling apart because of his addiction.

There's just not much "wrong" with those things, they are barely vices or mistakes. Emotional perhaps but for most people that would be life as they know it.

Maybe I just hold myself to a higher standard than most.

Perhaps you don't go out much, I don't know. If I have to make a real list I probably would get in trouble, perhaps even legally or at least others might suffer. And I'm not even a bad person or criminal or something.

Well I guess I could include something like smoking pot but I don't consider that bad.

The best way with these things might be to think about everything at least a month and then decide if it's still worth doing. That would save a lot of trouble in most cases. Others might not have patience enough to wait for a decision or response though. But sometimes a day already changes a lot as emotion always fluctuates and an actual thought might get through.

I don't understand why I would need to wait to decide.
I've thought about these things for a while though myself and I'm pretty sure these are the top 3 for me.

Diebert van Rhijn wrote:your stories are basically cat-box litter designed to make people care.

This goes to show how unimaginative and boring you are....also your reasoning stinks like a cat-box, lol.

Orenholt wrote:I've thought about these things for a while though myself and I'm pretty sure these are the top 3 for me.

Perhaps you still have to realize your greatest mistakes then! On my list I'd put perhaps a couple of friends who suicided or were institutionalized, I wonder if I should have been more firm with them, telling them more explicitly where their mind was going instead of letting the error work its own way. It's the main reason I can look sometimes as if I'm scolding people. I know where good minds with wrong ideas lead to. Apart from the usual suffering on suffering, spreading and passing it around, a few times now I've seen it ending, not with death (who cares about death) but a situation of despair which convinced those people to radically end it. And it's not like they had such a hard life at all, no extreme events. Now it's not like I want to save people, it's just that I'm aware how nasty certain mistakes are and that explaining it nicely not always sticks. I just like people to at least try spreading less suffering. Like the CO2 stuff, less ego "footprint", eco-ego.

The true sinner reveals his sin not through a confession for forgiveness from some higher power, but reveals and atones for them with philosophical insight.

Diebert van Rhijn wrote: Perhaps you still have to realize your greatest mistakes then!

I guess it depends on what you think is a mistake. If I were in the past I could have made a horrible "mistake" by having toast for breakfast instead of eggs and bacon. If I had taken longer to make and eat my food then I might have been a bit later on my drive to my doctor's appointment. If I had been a bit later then perhaps Arch Duke Ferdinand might not have been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

But what I'm defining is a "sin" and by "sin" I mean something I did at least somewhat intentionally that I suspected would harm to myself or others. You might be thinking the first one doesn't apply but I was hesitant about falling in love all along because I figured something like that would happen.

Leyla Shen wrote:The true sinner reveals his sin not through a confession for forgiveness from some higher power, but reveals and atones for them with philosophical insight.

How can I atone for the things that I did with philosophical insight?

One might say we atone for the past by understanding the present and thereby correcting the future.

Dan Rowden wrote:One might say we atone for the past by understanding the present and thereby correcting the future.

Ah then yes, I suppose I will have to do that.

Well, that's my take on what Leyla said (hey Leyla, by the way). She may have meant something slightly more interesting.

I think the sinner seeks to reenact his sin, the most when he cannot deceive anymore, so he avoids being alone. Confession would serve to break the stunt of deceit, and the fear of loneliness. It also can be a further reenactment of the sin. That's why there would be confession, punishment, and then forgiveness.

:) Just slightly.

Hi, Dan. Nice to “see” you again!

"Orenholt....you don't need to confess anything here. Rarely is anyone here open and honest about their personal life. I have learned the hard way to not be so open . It has cramped my style...as I love being honest and open too. But people have turned on me, and I no longer trust or feel the need to open up my personal life to strangers that will stab you in the back any chance they get."

lol Kunga, so blunt and funny.

Dw, no one is actually doing anything except typing, and they are only 'stabbing you' through typing because they see your emotional problems as 'nooby'. You shouldn't get too caught up in it, delusions, attachments, etc. Otherwise they will just keep saying how you are proving them correct.
I know it isn't always as easy as that, but maybe you would agree it is easier for guys to be detached.

SeekerOfWisdom wrote: it is easier for guys to be detached.

So when I am detached (from being emotional), that is my masculine self ?
When I am emotional, that is my feminine self ?

I experience both . When I am around the emotional women in my family, they drive me crazy .
The emotional man I'm with drives me crazy.

Then I get emotional and drive myself & others crazy.

I am happiest when I'm alone....just doing nothing....starring out the window....like I've had a lobotomy......

I didn't say it was a masculine or feminine trait seeing as almost everyone, including almost every male, is attached.

Yeah people are like a disease that spreads suffering, stay away from them, I think it is best not to involve yourself with delusional people, no matter how small the connection it will probably lead to conflict. So either be around enlightened people, or alone. It is good that you are content alone and with nothing, people don't really need anything, love of life is natural, I am also content to stare at nothing and experience this amazing un-graspable and empty dream. It is 'better' to do it with your eyes closed sometimes of course, so serene, sometimes I will spend whole days doing nothing in my mind. Although I'm not sure if it matches the blinding glory of a sunny day :)

Here is an incident that you may find interesting. By you, I mean those of you who have recently posted here on this board. I take the time to write it because it relates to recent postings, to karma, to what we think we know of coincidence.

It is truth that has unfolded in real-time. It is not a confession, but the timing is of interest, so I feel I must share.

Many years ago the oldest of my five children, who are all adults now (my oldest is in his forties), received a phone call here at the house from one of his high school buddies. This buddy (acquaintance actually) was looking for my son. I did not know this person so I required him to identify himself. I said that my son was not here, and for one reason or another this boy began to insult me personally. I'm pretty sure he was drunk since he was at a party, and by the things he said. In the course of his insults he called me stupid, informed me that he was a member of Mensa, and so on.

I was quite a bit younger then. I was ready to go and exact my revenge. But seeing how he was a boy and I was a man that would not have worked out for me. So I let it go.

Never met this person, as it turned out. But one of my other children, my oldest daughter, stayed in touch with this person's sister over the years, mainly because coincidentally they now live near one another, far away in another part of the country.

This kid had a rough life from what I have heard. Top of his high school class, from an upscale family, but never fit in. Punk attitude. Couldn't get along. Anti-social. Ended up on the street.

So here's the upshot. Here's the very strange thing that gives rise to enquiry, to paying attention to signs that do not follow a known logical sequence, as was recently explained in the Wise Quotes Thread. This morning, after posting here on the genius forum, I did some stuff and then sat back to read the postings that have been made. Yes. Dan, Seeker John, ladies, Dutchman, et al. And I thought, interesting.

I was just getting up to leave my office when my wife called my cell. She is out babysitting some of the grandchildren this morning. Later we are going out to take the training wheels off one of the little one's bicycle so she can learn to ride a bike freestyle.

My wife called to tell me, promptly after I had read the genius forum this morning, that she heard that this man, who I have never met and scarcely thought about since he called and spoke through his drunken ego, had killed himself this morning.

And I believe someone here recently, perhaps as recently as yesterday, made mention of "blowing out brains." Orenholt, I think it was.

In recent years there have been a number of deaths in my immediate world, natural and unnatural. And now this, this morning, right now, shortly before reading the comments generated by intent and posted here on Genius Forum.

Yes. Coincidence explains the course of events more succinctly than anything else, I suppose.

I wish people here would post a current photo of themselves....I was surprized to hear that you were married & had children/grandchildren....I had such a different "image" of you in my mind.....younger & single !!! lol

That's too bad about the guy killing himself....i have thought about it millions of times ......the only way I'd do it would be to take a "majic" pill & go to sleep peacefully.....good thing i don't know where/how to obtain them...nor do i try...


I's say it was coincidense.....it would be more interesting had you been thinking about that person recently....then it would of been more of a premonition/psychic thing...