thenononsenseman

[brokenhead]

I did a forum search for this link and didn't see it posted anywhere. Just wondering whether anyone was familiar with this guy's stuff. He is a media hound. On the one hand, I think someone has to be out there saying this stuff; on the other, I heard him call into the Stern show and he is just as annoying as the "experts" Oprah has on regularly bashing deadbeat dads. I miss Morton Downey, Jr.

[hsandman]

He is a media hound. On the one hand, I think someone has to be out there saying this stuff

I believe it's always better to have correct facts instead of the delusion; then it gives ones actions in the world meaning.

Thanks for the link.

[Laird]

I second hsandman's comment: thanks for the link. From what I saw on that website - and I did a bit of reading - the guy talks a lot of sense. He doesn't seem to be a misogynist or a chauvinist at all. I'm considering purchasing his book, but in the end I probably won't do it. In my opinion, my problem with women is not so much my attitude and general behaviour (although I'm sure that I could improve that, by for example reading that book) but that I run out of conversation too quickly and that I don't recognise and make use of opportunities as women present them to me - perhaps there's a lot of fear in that.

[Carl G]

Wow, that site gave me a headache and wanting to hurl in about no time flat. Guess I'm not up to the analogy of woman to car, plus the media faces and garish colors. Bottom line: I'm not that hard up for a date.

And, Laird, regarding conversation, if you really want to get in with a woman, and it seems you do, get good at asking questions about her, then listening real good, and using what you hear to ask more questions. Most women will easily talk all day when you get them going.

[Unidian]

Some of those things guys like him write about probably do work on a lot of women. But who's interested in the sort of women they work on? Might be gold for guys who just want a one-night pickup at the bar or the equivalent. I guess for those interested in that, his book might be good buy.

[Laird]

Thanks for the advice Carl. It's pretty good.

[Dan Rowden]

What's the end purpose of such advice?

[Laird]

Why don't you take a stab in the dark?

[Shahrazad]

Thanks for the advice Carl. It's pretty good.

It wasn't really that good, Laird. You don't need to ask a woman personal questions to get her to talk. She'll talk anyhow. What you need to do is pay attention, if the woman interests you. And, be yourself.

[Laird]

Sher, wouldn't you say that it depends on the woman? I've met some women who are as slow in coming up with conversation as me, and I really stumble on those occasions. Much figurative tapping of one's fingers thinking to oneself: "well I suppose sometime in the next century one of us will come up with something to say".

[Tomas]

Sher, wouldn't you say that it depends on the woman? I've met some women who are as slow in coming up with conversation as me, and I really stumble on those occasions. Much figurative tapping of one's fingers thinking to oneself: "well I suppose sometime in the next century one of us will come up with something to say".

Tasmania must be one boring island :-(

Tomas

.

[Dan Rowden]

Why don't you take a stab in the dark?

I don't need to; I think you just euphemistically answered my question. The subsequent question would be, how do you view such behaviour ethically? By "such behaviour" I of course mean manipulating circumstances to get a leg over.

[Shahrazad]

Much figurative tapping of one's fingers thinking to oneself: "well I suppose sometime in the next century one of us will come up with something to say".

That is hard to imagine, since you are a very proliferous poster here.

[Dan Rowden]

It's pretty easy to be prolific and verbose on an internet forum as there's really little that is at stake. In person is a different matter. There you have a thousand petty egotisms all scrambling for protection and security.

[Jason]

Much figurative tapping of one's fingers thinking to oneself: "well I suppose sometime in the next century one of us will come up with something to say".

How about saying just exactly that? Followed by "cos having conversations with women is likely a first step in getting me a girlfriend and that is the whole aim of interacting with you, oh and by the way your arse looks big in that dress, but don't worry that's a good thing I like ample arses."

[Laird]

Sher: well, you've spoken to me on the phone - who did 99% of the talking, you or me?

Dan: that's an... interesting... perspective that you've got there. Women like to get a leg over just as much as men like to, or close enough to it anyway. Is it really "manipulative" to show a woman through action that you're interested in that and let her decide whether she is too? How does one get the leg over "ethically"? And in any case, I'm not really all that fussed about whether I get the leg over or not in any particular case, I'm happy enough to have a mutually pleasant interaction. I'm interested in verbal/emotional intimacy as well as physical intimacy.

Jason: hmm, the honest and direct approach. Yes, I think that you're really onto something there. In the particular case that I'm thinking about (an American traveller whom I met on the airport shuttle in Hobart last year sometime) it might just have been about the best thing that I could have said. She accepted my invitation to go out and have a coffee, so she must have had some interest in me. And I was interested in her, and yet I wasn't showing that to her in any particularly effective way. I think that your suggestion would have been just the ticket. She later declined my invitation to go out to the pub for a drink, possibly because I hadn't demonstrated enough direct honesty in my intentions (or possibly because she really was too tired from travelling and had to get up early the next morning, who knows?).

By the way, her arse wasn't big at all: it was in fact quite spectacular.

[Carl G]

Ideally a conversation should be 1/3 her, 1/3 him, and 1/3 silence. But for wooing purposes it should be 2/3 her and 1/3 combination him and silence. He should ask about her, not necessarily personally, but what she thinks of this or that. He leads and follows, but mostly steps aside. Same rules as sales.

Anyway, I feel sort of sorry for Laird, or anyone with the need to woo. It is not a particularly pleasant place to be. It is a bit like auctioning oneself for slavery.

For example:

By the way, her arse wasn't big at all: it was in fact quite spectacular.

[Laird]

Huh? Finding someone's body desirable is auctioning oneself for slavery? How does that work?

[Shahrazad]

Laird,

Sher: well, you've spoken to me on the phone - who did 99% of the talking, you or me?

I did. I guess what I was trying to ask is, what's the difference? You always know what to say in chat.

[sue hindmarsh]

Dan wrote:

Laird: Why don't you take a stab in the dark?

I don't need to; I think you just euphemistically answered my question. The subsequent question would be, how do you view such behaviour ethically? By "such behaviour" I of course mean manipulating circumstances to get a leg over.

Is there any moment in time that Laird isn’t manipulating circumstances to get his leg over?

Anyone who holds love in high esteem has no room in their mind for anything else. All their thoughts and actions are bound by their attachment. Laird’s posts clearly show the level of his attachment.

[Tomas]

Much figurative tapping of one's fingers thinking to oneself: "well I suppose sometime in the next century one of us will come up with something to say".

That is hard to imagine, since you are a very proliferous poster here.

Hahaha! Good answer ... yeah, perhaps he should check out some of those "speed dating" services online or wherever they may be in Tasmania. (that is the END of the Earth)

No wonder the tasmanian-devils make those hideous sounds - they can't get off of Alcatraz.

ps- Was there once, can't say I'd ever have a reason to go back.


Tomas (the tank)
VietNam veteran - 1971

[Tomas]

Huh? Finding someone's body desirable is auctioning oneself for slavery? How does that work?

When you were with her... you should have said:
"You're so hot, your ass is on fire."


Tomas


7

.

[snow bunny]

where is Tomas's excuse, I mean he doesn't even know how to talk english good?

[Laird]

When you were with her... you should have said:
"You're so hot, your ass is on fire."

Perhaps I should even have played her this song and asked her whether she identified with it.

But probably not.

[brokenhead]

Same rules as sales.

That's because it is sales.