Desirable qualities in a person?

[truth_justice]

Few question regarding people:

Looks & beauty aside, what 5 qualities do you most value in a person? And why?

In other words, if a person is to become your best friend what qualities s/he must have? If it helps, split men & women.

A more philosophical question is, What qualities one ought to value, and why?

I have spend some time thinking about Hobbes's notion "Everyone against everyone". It seems that if the circumstances are right, everyone turns against everyone - New Orleans after Katrina serving as an example. Friends turn against friends. Families go against families. Countries against countries. Empires against empires.

Given that a man can sink this low, on what bases does one trust another, if at all?

[Dan Rowden]

Few question regarding people:

Looks & beauty aside, what 5 qualities do you most value in a person? And why?

Rationality, integrity, consistency, intelligence, masculinity - because these are conducive to the development of wisdom and sanity.

In other words, if a person is to become your best friend what qualities s/he must have? If it helps, split men & women.

I have no interest in conventional friendships. Such a thing lacks the very qualities I just mentioned.

A more philosophical question is, What qualities one ought to value, and why?

There is no "ought" - there is only what is and what we'd prefer. The latter will depend on our goals and values and prejudices.

I have spend some time thinking about Hobbes's notion "Everyone against everyone". It seems that if the circumstances are right, everyone turns against everyone - New Orleans after Katrina serving as an example. Friends turn against friends. Families go against families. Countries against countries. Empires against empires.

Given that a man can sink this low, on what bases does one trust another, if at all?

It's not really sinking. Altruism and community are largely illusions to begin with; they are, at bottom, things that sublimate individual needs and desires. Self always has primacy.

[daybrown]

Rational. If you meet anyone like that, let me know.

[Dan Rowden]

Oh, you cynic! I've met a handful.

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Looks & beauty aside, what 5 qualities do you most value in a person? And why?

I like people who make spectacles of themselves, so I can watch. Attentive listeners entertain me, especially if they have an expressive face. Arrogance is always intolerable, so I'd say humility (the genuine humility of someone who's been humbled by something) is necessary for me to find someone tolerable. People who worry about my opinion about them make me nervous, since I tend to pick that up and start worrying about my effect on them; I shouldn't have to say "present company excluded" before I say something. Basically, anyone with a good story or interesting talent -- even if that talent is listening -- is likable.

That is to say, if I must keep company, it needs to be respectable and civil. Otherwise, I'm perfectly happy entertaining myself, thank you very much.

[Unidian]

intelligence, wit, compassion, courage, humor

[Imadrongo]

intelligence, wit, [strike]compassion[/strike], courage, humor

And good looking is a given, people who aren't good looking generally elude all of the above.

[daybrown]

Oh, you cynic! I've met a handful.

Perhaps I have a more rigid standard. Eliminate all Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Greens, Christians, Moslems, and all religions that have zealous partisans.

No Atheists either. A True Atheist would not care.

But a truly rational being would be aware of downsides partisans dont see. A truly rational being would consider what life has to offer, and all the other honorable qualities would flow from that.

[Unidian]

And good looking is a given, people who aren't good looking generally elude all of the above.

Other than actual disfigurement, looks are not important to me.

And good luck with striking out compassion when you are old, sick, and in need. Strength (presuming you actually have any) does not last forever. But I suppose you'll stick to your own ideology and embrace your suffering, right? I'm sure you'll be just as enthusiastic about weeding out the "unfit" when you are one of them...

[truth_justice]

Gentleman, thank you all for your responses.

It seems that most of you prefer intelligent/rational people.

However, I am a bit surprised that no one mentioned "good nature" or "good intentions".

Does rationality/intelligence imply "good nature"? If so, why?

I can't see a relation between the two. Sure, there are some rational/intelligent people who have "good nature". However it is fair to state that there are some brilliant people who are considered to be Satan himself. Hitler comes to mind.

[Imadrongo]

And good luck with striking out compassion when you are old, sick, and in need. Strength (presuming you actually have any) does not last forever. But I suppose you'll stick to your own ideology and embrace your suffering, right? I'm sure you'll be just as enthusiastic about weeding out the "unfit" when you are one of them...

MANY die too late, and some die too early. Yet strange soundeth the precept: "Die at the right time!

Die at the right time: so teacheth Zarathustra.

I don't plan on hanging around rotting in the hospital until I'm 105 years old.

[Unidian]

Need any help picking out a gun?

[Imadrongo]

Need any help picking out a gun?

In about 50 years -- will you be needing something to do in your old age meaningless life? Perhaps you can help me through some technology while lying in the hospital bed hooked up to machines that will keep you alive for another 20 years.

[RectusFemoris]

Old age doesnt equal a meaningless life. Your body might be broken - if you didn't take care of it - but your mind is as sharp as it was, excluding severe degenerating pathologies.

Choosing your time of death is a popular concept, because it gives you the idea of control. It's unsurprising to learn that people who are diagnosed AIDS, for example, have a first reflex that is : "That's it, I'm gonna kill myself". Most people think that they can reaffirm a sort of control over themselves, despite having the whole world after them.

You sound like you're taking an appointment. Have you ever considered having your life ending abruptly? You can't live fully, can't appreciate life - despite all it's flaws - if you got your date of death down. Enjoying life carelessly is the best way to enjoy it : if you know you're going to shoot a deadly dose of morphine in your brain soon, you will feel compelled to try to enjoy life while it lasts. Being forced unto enjoyment makes you little different than cattle.

[Jamesh]

Neil: And good looking is a given, people who aren't good looking generally elude all of the above.

Nat: Other than actual disfigurement, looks are not important to me.

He was just having a sarcastic joke.

[ChaoticMelody]

I can list a few.

Genius
Talent
Sincerity
Rationality
Modesty
Compassionate
Good willed

And numerous others..

[Dan Rowden]

Why did you include modesty? What is modesty to you? It's a from of dishonesty, isn't it?

[Dan Rowden]

It seems that most of you prefer intelligent/rational people. However, I am a bit surprised that no one mentioned "good nature" or "good intentions". Does rationality/intelligence imply "good nature"? If so, why?

Ever spend much time with irrational people? I've never found anything good natured in it. I think the relationship between rational and good natured is more or less automatic. An irrational person is a deluded person. Delusional people aren't necessarily deliberately or maliciously bad natured, it's just that their natures tend to produce bad karmic results. So, to me, for that reason, the irrational is a bad nature by default.

[ChaoticMelody]

Modesty is someone who is not vain.

[Dan Rowden]

So, a modest person is someone who it truthful, basically?

[ChaoticMelody]

Not necassarily.

[Dan Rowden]

Then I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at. Isn't a vain person one who has an unreal or exaggerated perception of themselves? And doesn't that mean a modest person is one who has a faithful and true perception of themselves, making them a truthful person - in the sense of self perception?

I'm not trying to suggest a modest person never lies in any broader context or anything like that.

[Philosophaster]

Modesty is the readiness to admit that you don't know the things you don't know and that you can't do the things you can't do.

[ChaoticMelody]

It also means they are unaware or ignorant to themselves.

Boastfullness and vanity are not virtues, Modesty is.