Life Situation

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Okay, I learned a lesson in practical philosophy, and I just got beaten by Buddha. (Diamond Sutra my ass...)

Anyway, in behaving in the most ethical manner possible, I seemingly accidentally re-arranged my life in such a way that I'm getting kicked out of my mom's house (2 months) after paying her $2500 (purchasing my freedom, I guess?). Now I'm paying a girl $2500 (so she can purchase her freedom, I guess?), and I just asked her to marry me, presenting the first page of The Diamond Sutra as a surrogate wedding ring.

Now, both of us are in situations where we can walk from this relationship at any point, and the only thing that keeps us together is friendship. Sex is optional.

I guess, given all the dangers of women, this makes me one of Buddha's fearless bodhisattvas?

[sear]

I don't know about the Buddha part Trevor, but I would not marry her under these conditions.
If your avatar is an image of you, then a man of your age should not marry any woman for whom sex is optional.
The chances of the marriage being both happy and enduring are in my opinion slim.

I can't offer you much advice on a good marriage.
But I've got ~5 years experience with a bad marriage.
All I can say is, thank gosh I got the prenup!

Unless it's known to both parties that it's a marriage of convenience, (ie you have to marry her so she can get her green card) I'd steer clear. Unless life without her is absolutely unthinkable, cohabit in bliss.

I'm guessing she'll be an excellent room-mate.

[sig line pending]

[Trevor Salyzyn]

sear, you read my intention well. I had just come to the conclusion about an hour ago that the ideal situation is for her to reject my offer of marriage, but accept cohabitation. I predict that her moral compass will not allow her to take everything from an over-generous man, and we will settle on a compromise that ends out being better for both of us.

The offer of marriage is, in this situation, a superficial bargaining chip.

[pen15]

I guess the obvious question arises: Is she super fat or super ugly? No need to marry her, put your money into plastic surgery or liposuction, or better yet both.

[Alex Jacob]

You probably don't want my advice, but here goes: get the money back if at all possible. Never, ever put up money at the start of any relationship. Then, work toward an affair where you get from her all the sex you ever wanted, and only give the same in return. No other strings of any sort. Make this into a sort of religion.

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Alex: this is not the start of the relationship. We've been casual friends since highschool, and honestly, I'd just rather she didn't move away from Edmonton.

pen15: God no. She brings to mind Diogenes saying: "a beautiful whore is like poisoned honey". I'm trying to find where the beauty turns into poison, but since I can't find that, I'm guessing she's not a whore.

[Imadrongo]

You are emotionally attached to an illusion?


*tisk, tisk, tisk*

Marriage isn't something you can be free to walk from at any point so maybe you shouldn't get married officially.

[Tomas]

Okay, I learned a lesson in practical philosophy, and I just got beaten by Buddha. (Diamond Sutra my ass...)

Anyway, in behaving in the most ethical manner possible, I seemingly accidentally re-arranged my life in such a way that I'm getting kicked out of my mom's house (2 months) after paying her $2500 (purchasing my freedom, I guess?). Now I'm paying a girl $2500 (so she can purchase her freedom, I guess?), and I just asked her to marry me, presenting the first page of The Diamond Sutra as a surrogate wedding ring.

Now, both of us are in situations where we can walk from this relationship at any point, and the only thing that keeps us together is friendship. Sex is optional.

I guess, given all the dangers of women, this makes me one of Buddha's fearless bodhisattvas?

...............


My advice? ... avoid the sex until you are ready to commit for a lifetime.

"It" (has) worked for the girlfriend and i for 40-plus years. seven children later... six grown (4 boys and 2 girls) and the late-in-life gift, the 7-year-old daughter

Trevor, i truly wish the best for the both of you. You two can come and honeymoon at my cabin near (within view of) Mt. Shasta... There'll be a couple gallons of that special "sun-brew" (i commented about in another thread) waiting there :-)


-Edit One-
ps- After reading all the replies (and yours) so far.. Be sure to let her handle the monetary end of the relationship... and avoid the government "marriage certificate"... be your own gods, not the government as a surrogate sugardaddy partner.

-Edit Two-
We essentially compromised for a wedding band and 'me on the one knee' proposal.



Peace,

Tomas (the tank)
Prince of Jerusalem
16 Degree
Scottish Rite Free Mason


.

[pen15]

Show us a picture, or get her on here to chat, and then we can tell you if she is worth the whopping sum of $2500. You seem pretty excited; I'm excited for you.

[Tomas]

.


Hahahahahah... Can't resist :-)



-the voyeur-
pen15 - Show us a picture,

-tomas-
(pant pant) Oh, yeah, pleazzzze please me!





-the voyeur-
or get her on here to chat,

-tomas-
Yeah, Trevor (steamy glasses pant ... gettin' sweaty pant) Gimme her phone number pant pant




-the voyeur-
and then we can tell you if she is worth the whopping sum of $2500.

-tomas-
(pant) oh, oh, oh, i think i'm gonna lose it yeah yeah sweaty .. wad of money $$$ ... we we ... we the herd can (pant) tell you (pant pant)




-the voyeur-
You seem pretty excited;

-tomas-
Oh, oh, oh (pant pant) yeah, pretty excited... pant (more pant)




-the voyeur-
I'm excited for you.

-tomas-
Watch out for -the voyeur- (she's) a he excited.

ps- Hahahahah



Tomas (the tank)
VietNam veteran - 1971




.

[pen15]

You have a very original style of posting, Thomas. Let's just say, you don't post on "Genius" Forums for nothing.

[Carl G]

Oh, I see, pen15, your user name is a play on the word penis. How cleaver. I mean clever.

[Katy]

Oh, I see, pen15, your user name is a play on the word penis. How cleaver. I mean clever.

Hey Carl, I'm in the Pen club. Do you want to be too? I just write the word pen and then your number on your hand and you're a member! See, I'm Pen 14!

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Tomas: I'll try... :)

Here's my 4-line gatha:

Instead of diamonds teach her the Diamond Sutra,
And instead of marriage teach her the Heart Sutra.
Be sure to do it without speaking a word of "philosophy";
If it doesn't work: so be it!

[pen15]

I spent a long time just trying to come up with it. The subtlety with which I did that is what makes it so brilliant.

[ChochemV2]

How about: Instead of teaching figure out if she is worth the time and instead of covertly trying to change someone to better fit your disposition see if they will accept what you want to give up front?

[Trevor Salyzyn]

Oh, and Tomas: my gatha is called "The Trust Sutra", and I believe there is nothing more to add.

[Katy]

Bakunin, one of the original Russian anarchists, attempted to raise his sister's consciousness by teaching her Hegel. Alas, Hegel's theory that the only moment of consciousness a woman will ever have is in selecting her husband nearly drove the woman mad, seeing as how she'd already chosen badly.

[Iolaus]

But what's the 2500 for?

[Trevor Salyzyn]

It's a cheque. I am considering whether to say, "cheque and mate" when she hands it back to me later today.

I think that might give away too much philosophy for her current wisdom, though.

[Carl G]

I don't get it. But then again, they do say the unenlightened can never understand the Enlightened.

[Trevor Salyzyn]

It's a very cheap joke that involves the equivalent of Lao Tzu's "straw dogs" -- ie. treating people like chess pieces -- and a really bad pun.

Completely superficial.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

It's a cheque. I am considering whether to say, "cheque and mate" when she hands it back to me later today.

I think that might give away too much philosophy for her current wisdom, though.

It could be, and if it is, it could easily be taken as a prostitution joke (or worse).

[Diebert van Rhijn]

Here's my 4-line gatha:

Instead of diamonds teach her the Diamond Sutra,
And instead of marriage teach her the Heart Sutra.
Be sure to do it without speaking a word of "philosophy";
If it doesn't work: so be it!

Trevor, have you thought of the possibility that the very moment she'd catch a real glimpse of such teaching her mind would crack and basically destroy her, or at least the very basis of her existence? Are you sure there's something else that could survive the onslaught? Or do you prefer to have her play with the exoteric, perhaps to please you?

Now if for a moment we'd assume she's a figment of your imagination (and isn't everything?) aren't you showing your own desire for the heart of the matter, for completion?

[Trevor Salyzyn]

I know what my desire is, Diebert. I think my philosophy has become too dangerous for me not to have it held in check by someone else. Having to accomodate another person -- especially one who may never understand me -- is giving the world a knife to hold to my throat.

She is wholly a product of my imagination. Whatever is behind the appearance is a lot less dangerous than the appearance itself, but I feel that appearance is necessary. One lie to keep me from giving the world the truth: one lie to kill my Buddha-nature.