1st Joke:
“There are three monks, who had been sitting in deep meditation for many years amidst the Himalayan snow peaks, never speaking a word, in utter silence. One morning, one of the three suddenly speaks up and says, ‘What a lovely morning this is.’ And he falls silent again. Five years of silence pass, when all at once the second monk speaks up and says, ‘But we could do with some rain.’ There is silence among them for another five years, when suddenly the third monk says, ‘Why can’t you two stop chattering?â€
2nd Joke:
" The other day I saw a cartoon in a magazine, " he recounted to the audience. "It's in New York City, at a busy intersection in Times Square. There are two dogs sitting by the curbside, watching the people hurrying by, always busy and in a rush. And one dog says to the other, 'you know, reincarnation gives me the creeps.' "
Post your religious jokes here.
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Ryan Rudolph
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Dan Rowden
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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out to the Lord.
Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen."
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out to the Lord.
Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen."