Possibly, although I tend to agree with this line of thought by Kierkegaard:
As I have said, it is through woman that ideality is born into the world and
- what were man without her! There is many a man who has become a
genius through a woman, many a one a hero, many a one a poet, many a
one even a saint; but he did not become a genius through the woman he
married, for through her he only became a privy councillor; he did not
become a hero through the woman he married, for through her he only
became a general; he did not become a poet through the woman he
married, for through her he only became a father; he did not become a saint
through the woman he married, for he did not marry, and would have
married but one - the one whom he did not marry; just as the others became
a genius, became a hero, became a poet through the help of the woman
they did not marry. If woman's ideality were in itself inspiring, why, then
the inspiring woman would be the one to whom a man is united for life.
But life tells a different story. It is only by a negative relation to her that
man is rendered productive in his ideal endeavors. In this sense she is
inspiring; to say that she is inspiring, without qualifying one's statement, is
to be guilty of a paralogism which one must be a woman to overlook. Or
has anyone ever heard of any man having become a poet through his wife?
So long as man does not possess her, she inspires him.
And .....
A negative relation to a woman may arouse the highest ideality in a man.
Let that be said once for all, and let it be said in honor of woman; and it
may be said without reservation. For it depends not on the particular
quality of the woman concerned, her loveliness, or the persistence of her
loveliness. Rather does it depend on her appearing at the right moment,
when ideality is glimpsed. That is but a short moment, and then she had
better disappear again, because a positive relation to a woman renders man
finite to the highest degree. Therefore, the greatest service a woman can
do a man is to make her appearance at the right moment. But that she
cannot do by herself but only through the benevolence of fate. And now
comes the greatest thing she can do for a man, and that is, to be unfaithful
to him, the sooner the better. The first ideality will assist him to attain a
still higher degree of ideality - and then he is helped in an absolute sense.
This second ideality is, to be sure, purchased with the sharpest pain, but it
is also his greatest bliss. And though he may in no wise desire it before it
comes to pass, yet he will thank her when it has come. And as, humanly
speaking, he has no very good reason to thank her, why, then everything is
as it should be. But woe to him if she remains faithful to him!
--
From <a href="
http://www.theabsolute.net/minefield/pr ... ml#mfpsych" target="top">"The Banquet" </a> by Soren Kierkegaard.