So i'm writing a book.

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sapincher
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So i'm writing a book.

Post by sapincher » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:13 pm

And I'm really sure that there are seventy thousand sources of error in it. I'd love it if you made me look like an idiot and pointed out all the spots where I turned stupid.

http://sapincher.com/media/badera.doc

The main plot is this:

Humanity gets into a moral argument with itself over the righteousness of augmenting your body with technological components, like getting brain implants or even uploading our consciousness to a computer, like in my last thread. The cyborg humans rally for supporters of their cause, which angers the more conservative humans. These believe that it is unnatural and inhuman to be such a way, and they wage war. Cyborgs reach the logical conclusion to send out thousands of deep space probes containing technological replicating "seeds" of artificial life, in case all hell breaks loose and the conservative humans start using nuclear warfare and everyone dies.

Of course, while the probes are in transit, humanity is killing itself. Cyborgs have utmost confidence in their plan, and play the defensive role while conservatives resort to nanotechnological warfare to get the cyborgs off the face of Earth. Without restrictions, it gets out of hand, and a self replicating nanobot is released into nature, which uses all useful materials to make more nanobots. in the end, Earth becomes a floating ball of Grey Ooze and all the materials not needed by the nanobots. Everyone/thing is dead on Earth.

The probes land on 1,754 different planets and set up server hubs with automated energy sources (not like infinite energy, just solar or whatever the planet has to offer). Due to the discovery of superluminal particles on the part of the cyborgs, the servers have near instantaneous communication, creating an interstellar network. Virtual life is carried out in this network, up to the point of emulated humans and their emulated achievements and so on.

Life in the virtual network is going okay, as everyone has adopted a mellow lifestyle and they've become rather communistic because I don't know that is just how it is. Because of the speed of their circuitry, time is experienced one million times slower than by humans. It takes a million years for a complete revolution of the Earth, or rather, the ball of Ooze. They achieve a breakthrough with science and realize that there are connection lag times in their world, and come to the realization that they are living in a virtual world a la matrix redpills. They learn how to interface with the hubs that connect them to the real world, and inform the robots that have been working the automated energy supplies to produce tools for them, which they use to manipulate the real world, which by now they are calling the First Plane and theirs the Second. They start to search for their history and discover a wandering spacecraft, Unification (sent out by the cyborgs with information from home), which leads them to another one, Biogenesis (sent out by the conservatives on a crusade to inform other intelligent lifeforms about the problems of artificial intelligence), and eventually rassling up even the Voyagers and Pioneers, the whole process taking millions of years for them.

Everyone gets superpowers from being able to plug directly into the mainframe and transport, learn instantly, and various other superpowers, and hackers form organized crime syndicates and basically the entire economy is ripped to shreds. There are no conservatives to stop this seedy economy from happening because everyone has been wrapped up in the existential trauma of not really existing, and the fact that the cyborgs planned them without consciences.

The book itself is written as a series of soapbox lectures by this random guy about the fall of Earth as recorded from Unification and Biogenesis, why they fell, and how this situation applies to their current state of turmoil. This is the essential point of the entire novel. It is basically a science fiction satire about the problems we face with both conservatives and the idealistic, with the fall of Earth and the Baderan network, respectively. It is a semimodern events work that states that when computers gain enough technology, Earth won't be the same. I do partially expect humans to react with blowing up the Earth, because we are a society too based on morals and impeding scientific progress. We need a balance, and not a civil war, when it comes.


Er, do you get it? Do you like it? Is it too over cooked?
Last edited by sapincher on Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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average
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by average » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:42 pm

what point of view is it told in?

HYPNOSIS

Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by HYPNOSIS » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:53 pm

All I heard was, " Humanity gets in an argument with self,"

Cucka, cucka...

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Dan Rowden
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Dan Rowden » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:14 pm

sapincher wrote:And I'm really sure that there are seventy thousand sources of error in it.
Then fix them. Your first paragraph contains a whopping continutity error:
Not much is known about this race, as there are no surviving members or even artifacts of their time today. Intelligence that we have received on this subject was retrieved from satellites and spacecraft over an extended period of time . What we can gather, however, is that their decimation was from an immense civil war over biological and biotechnological enhancements. This seems a trivial end to a populous species, but knowing their background shows why they reacted in such a famously chaotic way. Now, I’m sure you all know what happened in their destruction, and how we came to have a millennia-old ball of Gray Ooze, so I will speak only about the theological, political, economic, and sociological causal factors.
You need to make up your mind how much is known about the "race". The first sentence surely contradicts the rest.

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Dave Toast
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Dave Toast » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:58 pm

And the theory is called Gray Goo, not Ooze.

sapincher
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by sapincher » Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:58 pm

So you are right, mister toast and mister rowden. The plot was developed mainly over the course of writing that (not from scratch, just polished) so that was partly why I was sure there were continuity errors like first sentence thank you i have to go
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Dan Rowden
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Dan Rowden » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:03 pm

The general premise seems interesting enough. You need a proof reader - for each chapter.

sapincher
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by sapincher » Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:45 am

Actually mister rowden, now that i think about it, you aren't correct.

The first sentence was not a continuity error at all. There was, in fact, not much known about the species. Not that they were mysterious: it's just that they only have two databanks worth of information and everything else is hypothesized. Nevertheless, I did rewrite the first sentence. I have as well printed out a copy and correct grammatical mistakes and revised it for an updated plot. I will make those corrections to the digital copy when I get around to it, because I have english homework to do.
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ZenMuadDib
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by ZenMuadDib » Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:35 pm

sapincher wrote:Actually mister rowden, now that i think about it, you aren't correct.

The first sentence was not a continuity error at all. There was, in fact, not much known about the species. Not that they were mysterious: it's just that they only have two databanks worth of information and everything else is hypothesized. Nevertheless, I did rewrite the first sentence. I have as well printed out a copy and correct grammatical mistakes and revised it for an updated plot. I will make those corrections to the digital copy when I get around to it, because I have english homework to do.
Have you read the Dune series and the Butlerian Jihad? Basically, Dune is set in the future after a war with A.I. and robotics.

sapincher
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by sapincher » Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:39 pm

I honestly don't read very often. I've read very few science fiction stories, which were usually in the form of Asimov shorts.
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by daybrown » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:51 am

The flawed premise is a fixed resource base. Sass, "The Substance of Civilization" gets into it, noting that when hominids shifted from hunting to agriculture, like in Anatolia 10,000 years ago, the amount of land needed to support them shrank by a factor of 500. Nobody was fighting over territory any more; dominance quit being an issue.

So now, while we are all focused on the immediate problems of oil, one way or the other, the global population will be stabilized by the more advanced cultures that have increasingly effective means of force and persuasion. Even if there is global economic panic arising out of global warming, insustainable agriculture, pandemic, or whatever, we are not going back to the stone age. There are too many guns around with Smith & Wesson guaranteeing equal rights for smart women.

Superior cyborgs, or aliens wont have any significant use or need for the resources hominids rely on. I mean, if you have the technology to cross the universe, then you can certainly use star power wherever you want to build planets to suit you far better than the dirtball we live on. Galactically, we live in the boondox. Nobody really gives a fuck.

You cant upload your intelligence to a computer yet. But anyone who wants to know what you know, can use an FMRI brain scan, EEG, or even Dr. Paul Ekman's microexpression techniques to detect attempted deception. Torture is obsolete. There is no way anymore to have a conspiracy that cannot be uncovered. Likewise, the whole idea of steep pyramidal power structures is obsolete cause they wont be able to keep secrets either. And how do you have a tyrannic empire without being able to control digital communications, and every abuse of power displayed on Youtube?

The Greek idea of Hades is instructive; that's like a soul repository where the entire memory of all the dead is preserved. You could try to go to talk to them, but what motivation would any of these eternal spirits have for listening to what you have to say? They dont have hormones, much less egos. You exist forever, but you cant really do anything. Nirvannah.

So, are these cyborgs now equipped with nuts and ovaries? Whether you live or not makes no diff to them, so why should they bother trying to murder hominids? What do the hominids have that the Cyborgs want? With say, the power from nuclear fusion, what else would they need? Got enuf kw, and you can make all the diamonds and gold you want.
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Carl G
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Carl G » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:57 am

sapincher wrote:I honestly don't read very often. I've read very few science fiction stories, which were usually in the form of Asimov shorts.
Hahaha, you don't read science fiction and you think you can write it? That's Sci-fi!
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daybrown
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by daybrown » Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:30 pm

Carl G wrote:
sapincher wrote:I honestly don't read very often. I've read very few science fiction stories, which were usually in the form of Asimov shorts.
Hahaha, you don't read science fiction and you think you can write it? That's Sci-fi!
We all havta start somewhere. Where did Jules Verne start from? I dunno; the genre has fallen on hard times. The future is just not what it usta be. I look back now on Asimov, Clark, & Heinlein, et al as quaint & naieve; you just cant start from where they were and go forward from here any more. Heros are passe.

Recently, someone pointed out that Star Trek had Whites, Blacks, Russians, and Chinese, but no Iranians. To which it was noted that's because Star Trek take place in the Future, where there wont be any Iranians. Back in the heyday of Sci Fi, nobody thot of nuking Iran.

of the whole genre, "Stranger in a Strange Land" about a global religious movement is rather more prescient, altho the way things are going the new prophet will be female.
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Carl G
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Carl G » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:21 pm

Your blogging aside, my point stands.
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daybrown
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by daybrown » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:02 am

If he'd convert this http://sapincher.com/media/badera.doc to html, he'd prolly get more feedback.
I use linux, and hate messing with WORD, or any other Micky$loth file formats. AFAIK, the geeks are all switching to Linux if they havent already, and they're prolly more up on the kind of Sci Fi that's popular today.

http://daybrown.org/amazon/amazon.html is an example of media that I am working on, to make 'books' that are designed, not to be printed, but presented on this screen. I dont expect to make money at it. I'm still engaged in uploading the software, and havent got it all posted yet, much less debugged.

But with the increase in laptops, I can see a dramatic drop in paper book sales in favor of electronic forms. Sapincher seems to ask for crtique or editing, and the advantage of the digital format is that it is always available for updating if changes seem desirable later. But IMHO, html sux too.

Its one thing to present business facsimile on this screen with white backgrounds with black letters in the highly lit office setting, but another to sit at home with subdued liting with this screen glaring at you. I'm still experimenting with a better balance.

Another question is the intended audience, and how long you expect the work to be read. Since this is a digital format, it could be copied infinitely, and may be around in future forms of media for an indefinite period... when attitudes have changed. I may be only ahead of the curve, or OTOH, just really out there. Either way, Christians wont care for what I have to say. But neither they, nor the power structures that pander to their sensibilities, can stop me.

Authors have always tried to bring an audience along, move them in some perceived better direction. If you think you have the power to do that, go for it. I dont have power myself, but can only speak to those who've already moved out ahead of the curve, albeit, not necessarily in the same direction. There's a good philosophical argument to be made that the world is already full of cyborgs that you are not going to get anywhere with. Good luck.
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Carl G
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Carl G » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:46 pm

The first paper was made from the papyrus plant in the boondox of the Nile River delta, which helped found the Library of Alexandria. Usta be this was sold to Rome and Greece, as well (although Plato actually wrote on Plapyrus, made from Platypus skin). Wheat was also used -- never corn, the flatlander feed -- which made the paper for the famous Glutenburg Bible.

Later Alexandria came under nite air attack by the Luftwaffe, and an English stage magician named Alpha Maskelyne actually made the harbor "disappear," by ingeniously fitting out an adjacent bay with phony installations while blacking out the real one. Alpha Maskelyne also put one over on the silly beta Germans when they tried bombing the Suez Canal; he blinded them with some of the world's first strobe lites. Preceded the Jefferson Airplane (ah, my LSD days) by a quarter century.

Toilet paper, in the other hand, was invented in China in the 6th century. It was traded up and down the Dung Road; the standard roll would reach one mile, from the center of Kucha to the city limit of the famous whore city, although this is disputed; okay, it's an outright lie. And this is where we get the Chinese word for mile, Li.
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Dan Rowden
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Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by Dan Rowden » Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:53 pm

Carl has become the monster. He was warned!

HYPNOSIS

Re: So i'm writing a book.

Post by HYPNOSIS » Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:29 am

Dude, if your'e going to write some novel, I appraise you...

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