I Can't Think of an Appropriate Title

[ComfortablyNumb]

Ever since I was a kid I've always felt depressed at my lack of understanding towards the universe. I have also always felt "off" at a subconscious level towards the way people live their lives. Everyone seems like their so fixated in a delusional reality, walking a straight line through life assuming their societal role. Even before I was aware why, I always felt disturbed by this feeling.

I feel when I am depressed I am fixating on the truth and when I am happy I am immersed in the distractions.

I am far too stupid to be a physicist and have always been against taking pharmaceuticals (prozac).

What should I do?

[Dennis Mahar]

What happener?
Who was there?
How old were you?

[Russell Parr]

I feel when I am depressed I am fixating on the truth and when I am happy I am immersed in the distractions.

Fixate on the truth until you give up happiness. Then you will give up depression.

[ComfortablyNumb]

On a separate or similar note:

It would seem the universe is simply nothing more than a series of random events. There's no god, no rules, no judgement, except for those you accept or choose for yourself. At the end of it you are simply dead, eternal dreamless sleep.

All of these "roles" we play in society seem like nothing more but distractions to keep us busy. To distract our logical brain from whats really going on; and whats really going on is nothing, and yet at the same time so much is out there unknown to our comprehension.

All of the concepts of modern day life seem shallow. Like they are simply distractions of the times to blind us from the depressions of reality. How there is no purpose or meaning to our randomly occured lives. The only answers to expand our knowledge do not lie in prayer or churches but in science and the furthest depths of the universe. Other forms of life we may never see.

Instead we are fixated on our stupid jobs or social media devices where we proceed to dumb ourselves further down through mundane repetitive tasks or talking about the sandwich we just ate.

I believe in a sense the meaning of life is to do what makes you happy, whatever that may be. I also feel at the heart of it all we are nothing more than animals and going even further, simply biology.

I believe the only things that we can do in life and be sure we are following what we were "meant to do" is simply to survive and replicate. Every human has a primal urge that we and every animal on earth from the beginnings of time share. That is to survive under all circumstances, and replicate to ensure our genes see a future.

Surviving these days is nothing more than making money. Replication is also a simple task. For some reason I have this fixation in my mind that I've had for a long time. That is I wont be able to find happiness until I am over sexed, wealthy and super healthy. This is all I work towards and only then will I have survival and replication on "lock". Then I can travel and satisfy my next primal urges to explore this rock we call earth.

After that I see a life of spirituality and trying to greater understand the universe as a whole.


I find the concepts of employment sickening. Spending 70% of your day and 50% of your life working under one location simply earning enough day by day to survive. At the end of it you have lost 50 years of your life or 35 years of full days to some company that will replace you within the week. A complete waste of life.


Im starting to think even the concepts of family are a trend of society or culture. Some animals simply leave there children once born never to see them again. Yet every animal has a desire to survive and reproduce. A human who leaves there family is relatively normal, yet a human who lacks the urges to survive and replicate is deficient. So when people say the meaning of life is family I disagree. Maybe this is just crazy talk because I resent my shitty family.

However, every time I go out and get a new job or a new girlfriend or whatever, I feel better or as I call "distracted". But no matter what happens I eventually always come back to this state of nothingness and thoughts like I shared above.

I cant tell if I'm just permanently depressed or focusing on the truth other people are too distracted to see or care for? I really wish there was a way to make myself have an above average IQ and an eidetic memory. That way I could explore the field of theoretical physics and gain real power through knowledge.

[Russell Parr]

Seems to me that the source of your depression is in perceiving your materialistic values and pursuits (high IQ, replication success, wealth) as vanity.

If you choose to strive for those things, you're going to have to ignore the truth as much as possible. Spend more time with your girlfriend. Plan your future, set some goals and work towards them. Take pleasure in the pursuit of things. Treat yourself every now and then, and take delight in the simple things.

Or give it all up. Dive head first into the truth and don't look back. Observe Reality beyond biology, beyond concepts. Become one with Oneness. No it's not easy, yes it can be depressing, but that's only your ego clinging onto you. Become UncomfortablelyAwake. Press on, and dig deeper until you reach the core of your being.

[Dennis Mahar]

You're running a yes/no conceptual mock-up formed out of nothing.


Neitzsche suggested 'say yes to everything'

Run with that.

saying yes to a material universe and no to a conceptualised universe thru an act of conceptualisation doesn't work out.

[Cahoot]

It would seem the universe is simply nothing more than a series of random events.

Not at all. Everything that happens must happen. The delusion is to look to the past and think that things could have happened differently.

[TheImmanent]

Ever since I was a kid I've always felt depressed at my lack of understanding towards the universe. I have also always felt "off" at a subconscious level towards the way people live their lives. Everyone seems like their so fixated in a delusional reality, walking a straight line through life assuming their societal role. Even before I was aware why, I always felt disturbed by this feeling.

Existential depression is a sign of development in the mind, by which it questions its perceptions and cannot believe them to be substanstial or self-important; the things it perceives seem instead to be void of intrinsic meaning or value, since they are relative and lack concrete and firm existence; i.e., they are arbitrary, and depend only on shallow conceptions through which the mind deceives itself about their worth.

Thus far the mind is insightful; however, thus far its insightfulness has also only brought it pain, since it has undermined all its pleasures but still clings to pleasure, and thus it is isolated in a world of suffering. That is, it is in suffering without the conception of any real means of alleviation, since it conceives that such does not exist in any other form than self-deception.

The minds that are disposed towards this kind of scrutiny of things, by which existential depression returns to them time and time again, will find that they truly cannot take consistent pleasure in the conventional external things as they believe others do.

For the depression is sustained by the fact that, while partially wise to the lack of substance of relative things, the mind is yet conditioned to be a seeker of pleasure – looking for self-fulfillment through ”being” the construct which it has analytically discredited, and in this mode chasing for the missing puzzle pieces of this discredited puzzle.

Yet its true nature is closer to it than any form. A self cannot have form.

When the mind stops conceiving of a self, it knows the true self, which is formless. Then suffering is gone, and there is only bliss (self-fulfillment, self-expression). It is discovered that the sufferer never was. Like a bad dream, the sufferer was never real, and none of the things that made the sufferer suffer (defined in relation to the sufferer) were real. A conceptual self and a myriad of conceptual natures, weighed down by their insufficiency to exist. Everything was conceptual.

What you are cannot be pinned down.

[Cahoot]

I find the concepts of employment sickening. Spending 70% of your day and 50% of your life working under one location simply earning enough day by day to survive. At the end of it you have lost 50 years of your life or 35 years of full days to some company that will replace you within the week. A complete waste of life.

You have described the waste of life.

In the same fashion, can you describe a life not wasted?

[Cahoot]

I suppose that could be taken as a rhetorical question.

Henry has some wise words on the subject.

Henry Miller on the Artist and individuality work and Finding oneself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7DozL0LYow