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The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:56 am
by Trevor Salyzyn
I haven't written an essay for a while
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There is a greater threat to America than any Muslim. In fact, even Muslims are our brothers in comparison to a subversive, underground movement that threatens all our livelihoods. I speak of course of Taoism. All values of America are undermined by seemingly innocent books, available for public consumption in all major book stores. But I need not read something as disgusting as the Tao of Pooh (a beloved children's icon twisted into a most hideous shape) to learn what is wrong with this so-called religion.

I don't need to look farther than the Bible of Taoism, the Tao te Ching. Written by an anonymous "Wise Man", it preaches a message that is at once anti-capitalist, anti-war, anti-intellectual, anti-Christian, and anti-liberal.

"One's own reputation," wrote this over-praised Chinaman on the subject of capitalism, "why the fuss? One's own wealth: why the concern? I say, what you gain is more trouble than what you lose."

He forgets that in the real world, people need to work for a living. What else?

"Surrender brings perfection," he says of war. Fine, how about we go and surrender to the Iraqis and Afghanis?

It's not surprising he was so dumb, since he was completely anti-intellectual: "those who rely on learning do not come to know [the Tao]." And, "a mind free of thought, merged within itself, beholds the essence of Tao."

There's only one reason he would possibly do that, and yes, it was to control people:

"Putting a value on status will cause people to compete
Hoarding treasure will turn them into thieves
Showing off possessions will disturb their daily lives"

I don't even think the most liberal Hollywood director would agree with that sentiment.

And, well, the Tao is a competitor to the One True God of Abraham as well, for apparently, "Tao is everywhere, it has become everything."

I can't believe this "religion" has carried on for as long as it has. It's time to rise up and destroy it now.

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:05 am
by BMcGilly07
The' One True God of Abraham'?

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:10 am
by brokenhead
BMcGilly07 wrote:The' One True God of Abraham'?
Trevor, did you go off your meds?

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:18 am
by Trevor Salyzyn
Taoists keep stealing all the water from my bathtub, you think I have a right to be pissed off without being called crazy.

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:28 am
by baulz owt
I think he was just talking about the Xian god...
I enjoyed the satire though it came a bit too obvious at the end. Great post!

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:50 am
by Dan Rowden
Trevor Salyzyn wrote:Taoists keep stealing all the water from my bathtub, you think I have a right to be pissed off without being called crazy.
Are you sure they're Taoists and not Jews?

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:14 pm
by BMcGilly07
Trevor Salyzyn wrote:Taoists keep stealing all the water from my bathtub, you think I have a right to be pissed off without being called crazy.
You know what they say about those Taoists right? They're like water and so flow in places men reject, which explains why they're after your bathtub leavings.

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:49 pm
by Unidian
Taiosts also bathe less frequently than other people.

I used to think it was just me, but no. It's a Taoist thing.

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:49 am
by brokenhead
Dan Rowden wrote:
Trevor Salyzyn wrote:Taoists keep stealing all the water from my bathtub, you think I have a right to be pissed off without being called crazy.
Are you sure they're Taoists and not Jews?
No, the Jews would charge you for carrying the water away.

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:21 am
by BMcGilly07
brokenhead wrote:
Dan Rowden wrote:
Trevor Salyzyn wrote:Taoists keep stealing all the water from my bathtub, you think I have a right to be pissed off without being called crazy.
Are you sure they're Taoists and not Jews?
No, the Jews would charge you for carrying the water away.
What? Next I should chop wood for free?

Re: The Danger of Taoism

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:27 am
by Malik
One True God of Abraham
LOL, Abraham is tao.