FOOTHOLDS

[Ataraxia]

Dan would be a pretty interesting bloke to spend an afternoon in the beer garden with--even with a hat.

[David Quinn]

Diebert,

They're almost all related to power and as such naturally attractive; the way things work. The two standing out are humor and compassion. Now compassion can mean many things and in this case I'd give it the benefit of the doubt and see it as the default behavior that comes with awareness. It's a trait of the powerful too; to have mercy.

Yes, to expand – another function of humor in mate selection is so that women can feel that her man is superior to her, because if a man can constantly get one up on her in a silly non-serious way, then it reaffirms to her that he is worthy of her devotion.

That is the interesting thing about humor – it reaffirms to her that she possesses a winner that is able to pleasure her, and by constantly outwitting her in a non-threatening silly way, he is able to make her feel that she is in the submissive role. And ironically, the submissive worship role is how she feels powerful, she must feel like she is serving something higher. Women need to feel as if their man is king, and a witty man tricks her psychology perfectly, and allows her to believe in this fantasy.

A woman can only sacrifice herself to a man if she believes that her man is her superior. If she finds herself in a position where she feels smarter, and is able to outwit him and overpower him easily, than that is when the nagging starts because she doesn’t want to be in a position higher than he is. She wants the delusion to believe he is king, so that she can have the delusion to believe she is queen.

Yes, when a man makes a woman laugh, she invariably experiences it as a form of flattery. In effect, he has entered into her world, adopted her outlook on life, for the purpose of pleasuring her. This tells her that he values her, possibly wants to form a relationship with her, that he may be willing to leave behind his own values and become a slave for her.

Because women are virtually incapable of making rational judgments on anything to do with their personal lives, they rely on cues of this kind. Being stimulated into laughter by a man's sense of humour provides a woman with a short-hand method of judging his worth to her.

As for Dan and his sense of humour, it is doubtful that he will never lose it. This isn't a criticism, but simply a recognition that a sense of humour is part and parcel of having an active, flexible mind. Apart from those who are extremely psychotic, everyone has a sense of humour in one form or another. Even I have one, as I'm sure Dan would attest. Buddhas too have a sense of humour, albeit not of the ordinary, conventional kind.

So it isn't a question of whether a spiritual person will lose his sense of humour as he develops, but rather of how thoroughly it will develop beyond the ordinary, worldly forms of humour whose aims are purely egotistical in nature. However, to a woman, who knows nothing other than the realm of egotism, it will seem as though he is losing his sense of humour.

The same is true of compassion.

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[David Quinn]

Dan would be a pretty interesting bloke to spend an afternoon in the beer garden with--even with a hat.

He is excellent company. Just don't give him too many beers, though. He morphs ....

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[Ryan Rudolph]

David Quinn wrote:

So it isn't a question of whether a spiritual person will lose his sense of humour as he develops, but rather of how thoroughly it will develop beyond the ordinary, worldly forms of humour whose aims are purely egotistical in nature. However, to a woman, who knows nothing other than the realm of egotism, it will seem as though he is losing his sense of humour.

Hahahaha!…….


Just kidding.
I’m in agreement with that.

[Elizabeth Isabelle]

David Quinn wrote:

So it isn't a question of whether a spiritual person will lose his sense of humour as he develops, but rather of how thoroughly it will develop beyond the ordinary, worldly forms of humour whose aims are purely egotistical in nature. However, to a woman, who knows nothing other than the realm of egotism, it will seem as though he is losing his sense of humour.

Hahahaha!…….


Just kidding.
I’m in agreement with that.

Whatever you say, Princess.

[Shahrazad]

David,

Because women are virtually incapable of making rational judgments on anything to do with their personal lives, they rely on cues of this kind.

Yes, of course we are incapable of rational judgments. But even though I am a lowly and hopelessly unconscious and sexy woman, I figured out in my youth (late 70s / early 80s) why I like my men to be humorous:

1. A person that laughs a lot is a happy person, and a happy person usually has a good self-image.
2. Life is full of suffering and unexpected twists. These twists are easier to deal with if you have a humorous side.
3. Humor is a sign of intelligence.
4. Humor can get you out of a lot of embarrassing or less-than-ideal public situations. It is an art form.
5. People who are unable to laugh at themselves and take themselves too seriously, usually become bitter.
6. It has been shown scientifically that laughter is good for our health in the long run.
7. Someone who takes the trouble to make up jokes just for me is certainly showing some interest in getting my attention.
8. I have a lot less fights with men who have a healthy sense of humor.

I'll stop here; I think you get the idea.

He is excellent company. Just don't give him too many beers, though. He morphs ....

He doesn't really morph; his better side comes to the surface.

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[Elizabeth Isabelle]

He doesn't really morph; his better side comes to the surface.

Your opinion. I like the sober to not-too-tipsy Dan much better than the drunken Dan.

[Shahrazad]

Am I the only one who likes the drunken Dan?

[Jamesh]

He is excellent company. Just don't give him too many beers, though. He morphs ....

I have the same problem, though I'd think a lot more severely than Dan.

Any chance of exploring this in more depth some time?

[Nick]

I've been told by women they like me more when I've been drinking as well. I think that says a lot about their character, or lack-there-of. Personally, I can't stand being around most people after they've been drinking, unless I drink twice as much as them. Mundane people become more tolerable when I'm drunk, and I probably become more mundane when I drink, which is why they are more likely to become more fond of me.

[Trevor Salyzyn]

What about funny women?

I guess not.

[Jamesh]

I've been told by women they like me more when I've been drinking as well.

Well, with me its the opposite. I get too arrogant and personal, and non-philosophical folk tend to get rather annoyed with me. I offend them with my bluntness.

I also become a stirrer to the point of insanity. I'm quite mad, sometimes.

For instance, last Friday night, I got pissed at a City pub. When leaving there were a number of people standing at the exit door and I just walked straight through them - my point was "well if you clowns are so self-centred as to not exercise care for others, by blocking the doorway, then fuck you, I'll ignore your existence".

After that I had a bit of a dig at 1/2 dozen Railway guards who were all wandering around in a group - my point was "this feels like a police state, surely you clowns would be more affective if you dispersed rather than hanging around in packs". Naturally it caused some big dude to want to fight me over it (didn't happen though).

Thirdly, while sitting at the platform, some blonde haired bimbo, got her mirror out and started pruning herself. I said to her, while smiling - "geez you're ugly". Surprisingly, it didn't faze her - I guess she didn't expect it, or perhaps she got the sarcasm (she was fairly attractive) - who knows.

I seem to have one of these episodes every few months. They cause a lot of anxiety. It must signify some deep psychological problems that I should investigate, or it maybe brain damage. On the other hand I've always been rebellious, so even if I did try and sort this out, I think it is too ingrained in my memories to do anything about it - other than to cease drinking alcohol (but this then might leave me too bored for my liking).

[Alex Jacob]

David writes:

"Your mind is so locked into soap-opera mode that I doubt your capacity to look at anything without distortion, without projecting all sorts of plots and conspiracies."

No, David. To see, to really see, what is happening here, to understand the various players here, to have insight into psychology, into the things that motivate people but what they can never admit to others and possibly even to themselves: that is the perspective that begins to make sense of this place, as it does so much of life. Obviously, in a 'blind' environment, one is bound to get some of it wrong. But certainly not all.

And believe me, there is no need to distort anything, they come predistorted. That is what erroneous ideas do, they are not neutral.

"It is the inevitable consequence of an intelligent man who distrusts his own mind so much that he no longer believes that anyone is capable of thinking for themselves. Everyone is reduced to being a puppet in an imagined play."

Wrong again, I think. I have just seen too many intellectual trips, too many spiritual trips and religious trips. I have seen an almost infinite variety of weird trips people place in front of their eyes as they look at the world, interpret it, and recommend ethics. All these layers and layers and layers. I see Sue as so wrapped up in an almost bottomless trip, that it begins to seem like a neurosis. Some of you seem to share---with genuine feeling---a sort of group neurosis. I take a risk in saying such a thing, but it is what I see.

"Yeah, I've noticed that he hardly addresses me directly or by name, even when he is clearly focusing on my discourse. It's as though he cannot look at people in the eye when he starts disparaging them."

Well, it is good that you recognize I am talking about you. But let's be clear: it is you (plural) who set yourselves up as grand arbiters. It is you who have polished techniques for dismissing those whose ideas and opinions you don't like. And it surprises you that I speak back to you in this way, when your whole demeanor is dismissive? I hope there is not a note of complaint in your voice! I thought all this was understood.

If ever you are interested in another level, another depth of discourse, just let me know. Respond to me in genuine tones and I guarantee you the same.

[Carl G]

He doesn't really morph; his better side comes to the surface.

Your opinion. I like the sober to not-too-tipsy Dan much better than the drunken Dan.

Am I the only one who likes the drunken Dan?

Hmmm. apparently there's some whole kind of nightlife here that I didn't know about.

[Ataraxia]

[
Hmmm. apparently there's some whole kind of nightlife here that I didn't know about.

For a fella who doesn't travel he seems to have a good array of drinking buddies. ;)

[Carl G]

Yep, worldwide.

[David Quinn]

Am I the only one who likes the drunken Dan?

You mean the one that can barely string a sentence together, keeps repeating himself endlessly and gets very abusive towards the women in his company - including, as I once experienced, your good self?

I wonder if Dan has ever heard a recording of himself drunk? I'm sure he would be shocked.

For a fella who doesn't travel he seems to have a good array of drinking buddies. ;)

It is more a case of Skype getting a good work out.

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[Dan Rowden]

Interesting to watch the decent of this thread into petty gossip.

[Tomas]

Interesting to watch the decent of this thread into petty gossip.

Not really.

It's a case of too many chiefs and not enough injuns' (squaws).

PS - As I said originally, this is an insane thread, and started by a woman trying to get even. Nothing more, nothing less.

(in the background) Sue is the head hen in this henhouse. She's got David's number. Your's ... too.


.

[Shahrazad]

That's the beauty of the internet, imo.

Carl,

Hmmm. apparently there's some whole kind of nightlife here that I didn't know about.

I remember seeing you at one of our popular chat hangouts years ago, so you knew about that nightlife, and even participated in it, if only a few times.

I do want to clarify that I don't hang out in chatrooms any more, unless you count Skype group chats as such.

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[Elizabeth Isabelle]

Interesting to watch the decent of this thread into petty gossip.

How "feminine” of you, Sue, to entrap Sher like that by acting like you cared about her personal thoughts. You elicit material from her so you can turn around and gossip about Dan being husband material.

Your post is devoid of anything of philosophical import. It seems to be best characterized as baiting.

What decent?

[David Quinn]

David,

Because women are virtually incapable of making rational judgments on anything to do with their personal lives, they rely on cues of this kind.

Yes, of course we are incapable of rational judgments. But even though I am a lowly and hopelessly unconscious and sexy woman, I figured out in my youth (late 70s / early 80s) why I like my men to be humorous:

1. A person that laughs a lot is a happy person, and a happy person usually has a good self-image.
2. Life is full of suffering and unexpected twists. These twists are easier to deal with if you have a humorous side.
3. Humor is a sign of intelligence.
4. Humor can get you out of a lot of embarrassing or less-than-ideal public situations. It is an art form.
5. People who are unable to laugh at themselves and take themselves too seriously, usually become bitter.
6. It has been shown scientifically that laughter is good for our health in the long run.
7. Someone who takes the trouble to make up jokes just for me is certainly showing some interest in getting my attention.
8. I have a lot less fights with men who have a healthy sense of humor.

I'll stop here; I think you get the idea.

That's pretty much a standard viewpoint for those who lack ambition and simply want to lead a comfortable life. To have someone by your side who can amuse you and doesn't take themselves too seriously is obviously an asset for that kind of lifestyle. I wouldn't call this a rational judgment as such (most of your points are disputable), more an echoing of standard thinking in a tired era.

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[Shahrazad]

David,

You mean the one that can barely string a sentence together, keeps repeating himself endlessly and gets very abusive towards the women in his company - including, as I once experienced, your good self?

I feel that I need to explain what I like about Dan when he's drunk. He is so much more uninhibited than usual.

I also should clarify that Dan has never been abusive with me. I would not lie about that.

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[David Quinn]

Interesting to watch the decent of this thread into petty gossip.

Not really.

It's a case of too many chiefs and not enough injuns' (squaws).

PS - As I said originally, this is an insane thread, and started by a woman trying to get even. Nothing more, nothing less.

Get even with whom? It's a perfectly legitimate thread, in my opinion, and an interesting one too.

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[David Quinn]

David,

You mean the one that can barely string a sentence together, keeps repeating himself endlessly and gets very abusive towards the women in his company - including, as I once experienced, your good self?

I feel that I need to explain what I like about Dan when he's drunk. He is so much more uninhibited than usual.

I also should clarify that Dan has never been abusive with me. I would not lie about that.

Interesting.

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