a shift in my personal reality, or perhaps madness. Whoknows
Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:48 pm
(1)
The last two weeks have been interesting to say the least. (I will try to recall as much of this as possible)
I was at my friend robs place two weeks ago, I had come across some realization (or at least at the time it had been a realization of some sort) that telepathy was possible. My initial reaction to this was that it had been a certain phenomena which occurs in all or most living animals as i would suppose, where communication is done through a complex system of facial movements, body language and in our case fluctuation in tone in the words we speak. Through this it would be possible to communicate on certain levels of connection where no words would have to be shared and it would be possible to "share thoughts" with the person or persons you are connected with. At that time this "realization" seemed perfectly normal and possible, but i was completely unsuspecting what was to come in the days that followed.
Anyways robs. I was sitting with rob and i had just come to think that all of this was happening "no my knowledge now it either happened or it did not happen, i have no idea. But we were having conversation through this "telepathy" and it was completely bewildering. A friend of ours Sam came over and he and rob demonstrated that they could hear my thoughts which apparently i was sending and they were using the words i was thinking in my head to have conversation with each other, i know its nuts... whatever though.
the next few days were chaos to say the least and have since left my memories, probability for good reason. I started realizing at that point that i could either foresee small miniscuel events or cause things to happen, the experiences which i am describing was perceived as a flash of an idea in vivid color though my head where immediately following this flash what ever it was i was thinking would happen. Soon after i started loosing it. I came to some conclusion that my friend rob was and had been controlling first my best friend and then my parents, and soon everyone who i had talked to through this telepathy. I experienced a dream where i had murdered someone and i am reading in a book about mass mind, a mind control our government uses to control our population into thinking as little as possible, look it up if your curious. The dream ended with rob telling me, in his voice to go look up mass mind and saying that's all you have to think about. I awake and its exactly 6 AM. I go downstairs and look up mass mind, its the first think that comes up.
I go through the day with weirder things that that happening, but to explain each thing would take hours if not days. Soon I have it in my head that its my soul mate talking to me and this soul mate is simply animating itself in each person i talk to until i find myself to this person. Through out the next couple of days i am having conversations with this soul mate, and eventually find myself at an x girlfriends at 2 in the morning, and it is as if she is aware of everything i was thinking, and as if she had been waiting for me to come and find her. Everything about this person had been explained to me by what would be my soul mate talking to me through the things i read and things that i would watch when i turned on the TV.
At this point it sounds like a good old case of schizophrenia, in which case might be true, i was after all diagnosed as schizophrenic and put on anti psychotics for three years, but i had never experienced anything like this. Anyways i get to the point where i finally stop thinking about this stuff and my friend calls me, and i feel this huge connection to her drawing me to her and when i went to meet her it was clear we were thinking the same things to the very thought, and we could read and depict everything each other was thinking and feeling on what seemed like every level. Everything that happen, is still fuzzy in my memory and Im still not sure if i just did a bunch of acid and forgot about it, or if i am just insane, or if on some level all of this did happen, or if i had simply applied metaphors to everything around me to describe some region of my subconscious which i now have access to.
The idea's and experiences which i have described are poorly accounted for, I am simply looking to find someone with a similar experience without having to get thrown into an institution. At this point my thoughts about it are that none of it really matters, and I should just focus at this point on piano instead of waiting time with something that i will probably never fully understand.
as a side note to the second girl i had encountered, she had been experiencing everything i had for the same period of time before i had met with her only exactly parallel to my own experience.
---------------------different topic all together re post to this one that follows as (2) the first one as (1), i post them together because they're related although not directly----------
I tried to patch this up as best i could before submitting it, you'll have to make due with the way its written, i know its bad, hopefully it makes since. But everyone on this form is after all, a genius of some sort, or at least capable of some sort of comprehension beyond what words hold for face value, that is after all partly what a genius is all about right?
please excuse the writing, its late and as you might deduct i have a lot going through my head o.O
The last two weeks have been interesting to say the least. (I will try to recall as much of this as possible)
I was at my friend robs place two weeks ago, I had come across some realization (or at least at the time it had been a realization of some sort) that telepathy was possible. My initial reaction to this was that it had been a certain phenomena which occurs in all or most living animals as i would suppose, where communication is done through a complex system of facial movements, body language and in our case fluctuation in tone in the words we speak. Through this it would be possible to communicate on certain levels of connection where no words would have to be shared and it would be possible to "share thoughts" with the person or persons you are connected with. At that time this "realization" seemed perfectly normal and possible, but i was completely unsuspecting what was to come in the days that followed.
Anyways robs. I was sitting with rob and i had just come to think that all of this was happening "no my knowledge now it either happened or it did not happen, i have no idea. But we were having conversation through this "telepathy" and it was completely bewildering. A friend of ours Sam came over and he and rob demonstrated that they could hear my thoughts which apparently i was sending and they were using the words i was thinking in my head to have conversation with each other, i know its nuts... whatever though.
the next few days were chaos to say the least and have since left my memories, probability for good reason. I started realizing at that point that i could either foresee small miniscuel events or cause things to happen, the experiences which i am describing was perceived as a flash of an idea in vivid color though my head where immediately following this flash what ever it was i was thinking would happen. Soon after i started loosing it. I came to some conclusion that my friend rob was and had been controlling first my best friend and then my parents, and soon everyone who i had talked to through this telepathy. I experienced a dream where i had murdered someone and i am reading in a book about mass mind, a mind control our government uses to control our population into thinking as little as possible, look it up if your curious. The dream ended with rob telling me, in his voice to go look up mass mind and saying that's all you have to think about. I awake and its exactly 6 AM. I go downstairs and look up mass mind, its the first think that comes up.
I go through the day with weirder things that that happening, but to explain each thing would take hours if not days. Soon I have it in my head that its my soul mate talking to me and this soul mate is simply animating itself in each person i talk to until i find myself to this person. Through out the next couple of days i am having conversations with this soul mate, and eventually find myself at an x girlfriends at 2 in the morning, and it is as if she is aware of everything i was thinking, and as if she had been waiting for me to come and find her. Everything about this person had been explained to me by what would be my soul mate talking to me through the things i read and things that i would watch when i turned on the TV.
At this point it sounds like a good old case of schizophrenia, in which case might be true, i was after all diagnosed as schizophrenic and put on anti psychotics for three years, but i had never experienced anything like this. Anyways i get to the point where i finally stop thinking about this stuff and my friend calls me, and i feel this huge connection to her drawing me to her and when i went to meet her it was clear we were thinking the same things to the very thought, and we could read and depict everything each other was thinking and feeling on what seemed like every level. Everything that happen, is still fuzzy in my memory and Im still not sure if i just did a bunch of acid and forgot about it, or if i am just insane, or if on some level all of this did happen, or if i had simply applied metaphors to everything around me to describe some region of my subconscious which i now have access to.
The idea's and experiences which i have described are poorly accounted for, I am simply looking to find someone with a similar experience without having to get thrown into an institution. At this point my thoughts about it are that none of it really matters, and I should just focus at this point on piano instead of waiting time with something that i will probably never fully understand.
as a side note to the second girl i had encountered, she had been experiencing everything i had for the same period of time before i had met with her only exactly parallel to my own experience.
---------------------different topic all together re post to this one that follows as (2) the first one as (1), i post them together because they're related although not directly----------
I tried to patch this up as best i could before submitting it, you'll have to make due with the way its written, i know its bad, hopefully it makes since. But everyone on this form is after all, a genius of some sort, or at least capable of some sort of comprehension beyond what words hold for face value, that is after all partly what a genius is all about right?
please excuse the writing, its late and as you might deduct i have a lot going through my head o.O