Making peace with femininity

Discussion of the nature of Ultimate Reality and the path to Enlightenment.
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

broken,
Yeah, 3 and up is nice. Before that, they are all moist and crinkly and are like little marsupial joeys fallen out of a pouch. Once they start talking, they immediately get more amusing and they start smelling better to boot.
This is interesting to me. Everybody that likes kids prefers them over 3, but I'm the opposite. I like them better when they are less than 3, and the younger the better (I'd rather play with / care for a newborn than a 1-year-old). I have a niece that is 2 and a half,and I already miss her younger years. She is getting into an age where she's too mischievous.

But the really worse age of all is 13 to 18. Then they are self-centered brats and get into more serious trouble.

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Sapius
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Sapius »

brokenhead wrote:Hey, cool, Sapius!! I was replying to your post at exactly the same time you were editing the quote I used! Check it out!!!
Yeah. Sometimes after submitting a post I realize that I’ve forgotten to write what I was thinking at the time, and correct it.
Yeah, 3 and up is nice. Before that, they are all moist and crinkly and are like little marsupial joeys fallen out of a pouch. Once they start talking, they immediately get more amusing and they start smelling better to boot
No, I do not think in the terms you are describing here; I never forget that I too must have been the same, and would never avoid a situation where I would have to handle a baby. I am quite comfortable with that too, just that if I do have a choice where I can save myself of not only handling a baby, but all the responsibilities that go with raising a child of my own, which will eat up quite a significant portion of my life, then why not!
Last edited by Sapius on Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Laird
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Laird »

Sapius wrote:And you think your self-focused freedom will remain intact in a long-term relationship? I’m not saying that that would necessarily be the case, but what do you think?
It would depend on how the relationship worked. I'd love to have a relationship where my partner and I lived in separate houses, and didn't necessarily spend all of our free time with each other.
Sapius wrote:I take responsibilities very seriously once I decide to carry it out, and I genuinely care about others, hence I wouldn’t like to place myself in a position where I might have to choose between my ‘self-focused freedom’ and the needs and priorities of my partner. In any such relationship, or say marriage, the key word is ‘compromise’, without which it won’t work, and I am not prepared to waste a moment of my extremely precious conscious life to such an easily avoidable situation by not getting into a relationship in the first place, and at the same time avoiding the hurt a partner might experience otherwise.
Hey, it seems like a pretty sensible position to me. I think that the main difference between you and I at the present is that whereas you're active in life, I don't do a hell of a lot more with my time than chat to people on Skype and follow GF. I have the time (and inclination) spare to devote to a relationship and I know that I'd get something out of it, as well as bring a lot to the table too. But hey, maybe at some point I'd decide: this is a waste of my time. Then I'd respectfully part ways with her. I kind of doubt that it would happen though.
Laird: I take it that you're not married, but do you have any romantic/sexual attachments?

Sapius: What do you mean by "attachments"? Do you mean ‘relationship’ or the philosophical kind?
I meant relationships. I guess I was trying to find a polite way of asking "do you have a girlfriend and/or do you regularly get laid?" You pretty much answered that question in your post though so no need to respond further.
Sapius
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Sapius »

Laird,
It would depend on how the relationship worked. I'd love to have a relationship where my partner and I lived in separate houses, and didn't necessarily spend all of our free time with each other.
You mean long-term short relationships :D
I have the time (and inclination) spare to devote to a relationship and I know that I'd get something out of it, as well as bring a lot to the table too.
Yes, I can see that. It is 6.45 am here, so it must be say 4.45 am there, and you have not slept I take it. I’m sure you will get something good out of the relationship; but it is possible that at 4.45 am you could hear; “come back to bed dear; we have to go shopping tomorrow” :D
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Laird
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Laird »

Laird: It would depend on how the relationship worked. I'd love to have a relationship where my partner and I lived in separate houses, and didn't necessarily spend all of our free time with each other.

Sapius: You mean long-term short relationships :D
Something like that. :-P
Sapius wrote:It is 6.45 am here, so it must be say 4.45 am there, and you have not slept I take it. I’m sure you will get something good out of the relationship; but it is possible that at 4.45 am you could hear; “come back to bed dear; we have to go shopping tomorrow” :D
Well, I guess it would depend on how enticingly she made the invitation, wouldn't it?

Actually it was 9.45am for me when you made that post, but yeah, I didn't sleep last night. I wonder how much longer I can last for? It hasn't even been 24 hours yet. I'll try to at least make that milestone.
brokenhead
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by brokenhead »

Shahrazad wrote:broken,
Yeah, 3 and up is nice. Before that, they are all moist and crinkly and are like little marsupial joeys fallen out of a pouch. Once they start talking, they immediately get more amusing and they start smelling better to boot.
This is interesting to me. Everybody that likes kids prefers them over 3, but I'm the opposite. I like them better when they are less than 3, and the younger the better (I'd rather play with / care for a newborn than a 1-year-old). I have a niece that is 2 and a half,and I already miss her younger years. She is getting into an age where she's too mischievous.

But the really worse age of all is 13 to 18. Then they are self-centered brats and get into more serious trouble.

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Well, I've always loved kids. I don't have any, but I have three brothers who are all doing the child-rearing thing. One brother adopted a Korean boy, he's 6 now. One adopted a Russian boy who is three. And the youngest brother has 2 1/2-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. I adore all of them. I agree, two seems terrible, as they say, but I just get it in small doses, so I am putty in their hands, and vice versa. But the Korean boy, Philip, was talking and joking around when he was only just two. He is like a little Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I was baby-sitting him a few weeks ago and when his parents left for the evening, he was yelling "Goodbye!" to them through the mail slot, which is about his height from the floor, "Goodbye, pretend Mommy and Daddy!" So I say to him, "'Pretend' Mommy and Daddy?" And he turns to me to explain, "My real parents are in Korea." Very matter of fact, and it came out like "My weal pawents awe in Kowea." He is just too much fun.
GUGGENHEIMER
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by GUGGENHEIMER »

Why would he call them, "pretend mommy and daddy?" They are his real parents, so he would be entitled to call them, "mommy and daddy." Something doesn't quite add up there, in that story.
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

Why would he call them, "pretend mommy and daddy?" They are his real parents, so he would be entitled to call them, "mommy and daddy." Something doesn't quite add up there, in that story.
Don't you get that the kid was just making a joke? Geez.
Elizabeth Isabelle
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Elizabeth Isabelle »

No child at that age has the mental development to make a joke like that. They are very literal at that age and for a few years beyond. The parents probably explained, as best as they could to a child of that age, that he was adopted, and what "adopted" means. The parents probably used the term "real" to describe "biological parents" - and are probably regretting their word choice at this point.
Sapius
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Sapius »

Laird;
Well, I guess it would depend on how enticingly she made the invitation, wouldn't it?
Hahahaa… but of course!
Actually it was 9.45am for me when you made that post, but yeah, I didn't sleep last night. I wonder how much longer I can last for? It hasn't even been 24 hours yet. I'll try to at least make that milestone.
Oops! You are right. I slept quite late this morning, so last night I must have not been right in the head.
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Sapius
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Sapius »

Elizabeth;
The parents probably used the term "real" to describe "biological parents" - and are probably regretting their word choice at this point.
I’m not sure if they are probably regretting, but generally it may not be so good for the child, psychologically speaking. But hey! They are his parents, and may recognize his intellect more than any of us.
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

No child at that age has the mental development to make a joke like that.
You may be underestimating children.
brokenhead
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by brokenhead »

Shahrazad wrote:
No child at that age has the mental development to make a joke like that.
You may be underestimating children.
You are right on the money with this one, Shah. Little Philip was deliberately needling his parents as usual. He calls them his pretend parents. They decided to tell him as soon as he could talk that he was adopted, since he's Asian and they are not. I asked my brother, "So Philip knows he's Korean?" My brother answered, "Actually, he thinks he's Chinese." He concluded that because they eat Chinese food often and he has seen the delivery people. He is highly intelligent and jokes all the time. His sense of humor is such a riot. He declared at age three that Santa Claus is "overrated," and not long after that said "Let's kill God."
Elizabeth wrote:No child at that age has the mental development to make a joke like that. They are very literal at that age and for a few years beyond. The parents probably explained, as best as they could to a child of that age, that he was adopted, and what "adopted" means. The parents probably used the term "real" to describe "biological parents" - and are probably regretting their word choice at this point.
This one most certainly does. The parents don't regret a thing. The kid is just really precocious. And he has a darkish sense of humor. One day I was walking with him and his dad home from a trip to the playground. He was riding on his dad's shoulders. His dad said, "Quit squirming around so much. What are you trying to do, kill me?" Little Philip goes, "Yes." After a moment, my brother says, "You don't really want to kill me, do you, Buddy?" "Yes." My brother goes, "Well could you at least wait until we get home?" "Okay." Another exchange I heard from them was when the lad was only four. He had made a loud noise by smashing a toy that wasn't built for smashing. My brother says, "Hey! What did you do that for?" "To irritate you you, Daddy!"
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

broken,

I've been around a lot of children like that: my children, my little sister, my nephew and niece, etc. They all get their high intelligence from my dad, who is a brilliant man. I am very used to dealing with precocious kids. I love them and treat them as people, not children. And I get pissed when my mom treats them as incapable beings who can't wipe their own asses.

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sue hindmarsh
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by sue hindmarsh »

All the talk about liking children at certain ages reminded me of this joke.

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I heard this lady say, "I love kids".
That's nice, but a little weird though.
It's like saying, "I like people for a little while."

"How old are you?"
"Fourteen"
"Fuck off!"
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xerox

Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by xerox »

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Last edited by xerox on Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
spelnxpert
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by spelnxpert »

Laird wrote:How do you really know that this is the best way of viewing reality?{all things connected}
I'll pose the same question to you that I posed to Steven Coyle in the thread, "Another Wisdom Test":

How do you know that it's not even more correct to view things as essentially separate but reacting, responding and communicating with one another?
You never did get an answer to this difficult question, did you man?
Laird
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Laird »

Yeah, and that's a little disappointing. I thought that it was a worthwhile question that merited an answer. Perhaps it was interpreted as rhetorical.
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

Or perhaps it was too difficult to answer, Laird.
Laird
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Laird »

Oh come now, Sher. We are after all in the presence of deep thinkers.
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Shahrazad
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Shahrazad »

Then maybe they think of you as a light-weight and that your questions aren't even worth answering. Arrogance.

Either way, it's not making the "deep thinkers" look good.
Laird
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Laird »

Deep thinkers are beyond caring about how they look. That would be an act of ego.

Anyway, now that it's been reraised perhaps Sue (whom I seem to recall the question was originally addressed to) will answer it. I wouldn't expect an answer in the immediate future though as it's early, early morning here and I'd imagine that she's in bed asleep. I could of course be wrong.
brokenhead
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by brokenhead »

Very true. Thing is, its a nice respite, escaping into the romanticism of liking people for a little while, in childhood. As deluded as it is.
Aren't you just a barrel of laughs.

Thanks for being so patronizing. And condescending. I like charming people with my quaint love of kids.

Yes, loving kids, quite the delusion, that.

It's apparent that many adults do not "like" children, could care less about them, and barely tolerate them but only if they really have to. When I say "I love kids" I am merely telling another adult - sending a signal, if you will - that I am not one of the adults who can't stand children. I do not slobber over them "Do you like your rattle? Do you like your little rattle?"

"Liking people for a little while." So, xerox, you don't like grown-ups, either.

Oh, this fondness business. This... love. Fucking malarkey.
brokenhead
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by brokenhead »

spelnxpert wrote:
Laird wrote:How do you really know that this is the best way of viewing reality?{all things connected}
I'll pose the same question to you that I posed to Steven Coyle in the thread, "Another Wisdom Test":

How do you know that it's not even more correct to view things as essentially separate but reacting, responding and communicating with one another?
You never did get an answer to this difficult question, did you man?
Let me take a stab at it.

Consider a loaf of bread. Person A cuts it into 5 slices and says, "There are 5 slices in a loaf of bread." Person B cuts another into 7 slices and responds, "No, there are 7 slices in a loaf of bread," and points to his loaf to back up his assertion. Person C does not cut his loaf, and declares, "A loaf of bread has no slices."

We wouldn't make a separate thread - or heaven forbid, create an entire new forum! - with the intent of solving the question as to which person is more correct, A, B, or C. And yet how different, really, is this question from the "connectedness" question?

Is either viewpoint truly less correct than the other? It is not original, or particularly illuminating, to aver the connectedness of all things. It does not say how they are connected, except resorting to the same phrase over and over again: "cause and effect." Taking any two events and asserting that they are thusly connected is empty. To ascertain how they are connected, one must trace the immediate causes of each - for there are always more than one - and then trace the cause of each of those causes, back until we have a cause that is common to both histories. QRS are saying this can always be done in principle. In practice, it is seldom possible in an open system, that is, in a non-experimental setting, in the real world. With people, it is more possible, due to the "5 degrees of separation" effect. This requires consciousness at each step if the way. Two physical events, on the other hand, have evolved through a causal history that may not have included an observer, thus rendering the establishment of their "connectedness" all but impossible. UNLESS: if one postulates a kind of Oversoul that sees to it that all things, all events, are observed by some consciousness or another. If there have been no humans involved in the observation, then another agency must have been. In other words, a God or gods have delegated the task of witnessing all things either to divine or mortal entities or consciousnesses. In the respect that this includes every sentient human, we are all connected. We all have the same purpose. In the respect that we are all individuals not each knowing every other possible human or consciousness that exists, we are all separate and reacting and communicating in some fashion with other beings.

There is more than enough bread to go around.
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Unidian
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Re: Making peace with femininity

Post by Unidian »

Okay, I'll also field this just so Laird doesn't feel it was widely ignored:
How do you know that it's not even more correct to view things as essentially separate but reacting, responding and communicating with one another?
I think it's equally correct. Neither monism or dualism is a "more correct" description of how the world "really is." This is why I came up with them "universal dialectic." It contains this non-dualist, non-monist view implicitly - universal (one) and dialectic (two). Both "one" and "two" are conventionally correct descriptions, depending on the context - and in still another context (the "ultimate" or paramartha one, to use the Sanskrit), neither of them is.

So, regardless of whether oneness or duality are taken as meaningful terms, they are always of equal value. This is what is meant by the seemingly self-contradictory term "dialectical monism" (or dualistic monism, plural monism, etc).
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